MONTHLY SATIRICAL MAGAZINE
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SPOKANE, WA – Wendy’s employees do not think customer Kirk Johnson is as funny as Johnson himself thinks he is. After Johnson attempted to order a “heart attack with a side of bypass,” Wendy’s cashier Wanda Broduer remained unamused.

“He all comes in here thinkin’ he’s all funny an’ shit but he ain’t. He just a dick,” said Broduer. “I just stood there an’ waited fo him to order what he really want. I ain’t got time for his bullshit. Know what I’m sayin’?”

Johnson who really wanted the “Baconator” sandwich says he was just trying to make the cashier laugh.

“I didn’t mean no harm. I just thought I’d try to make her smile,” said Johnson. “I mean, damn. That Baconator sandwich is good but it’s got so much grease that you’ll need heart surgery after eating it. That’s why I ordered a heart attack with a side of bypass. Get it? It’s funny right?”

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