Trump Gets Tongue Stuck to Frozen Metal Pole

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.


Music Blogger Rewrites "Best of" Article After Readers Recognize Several Albums

LOS ANGELES, CA – A local music blogger has been forced to rewrite his “best of the decade” article after several of his readers responded that they agreed with his list.


White House Staff Forget to Plug In Pence Before Long Weekend

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to a maintenance shop after aides forgot to plug the Vice President in to a power source before the long holiday vacation.


Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.


Business Owner Pulls Benefits from Employees After Visit by Ghosts

GLENDALE, AZ – After being visited by three ghosts, local businessman Walter Bandict, has announced that he will no longer offer his employees paid time off and medical benefits.


Family Photo Ruined by Ugly Baby

DALLAS, TX – The Stevenson family Christmas photo was ruined by the presence of an ugly baby.


Trump Announces Plan to Return Alaska to Russia

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump released a statement late last evening indicating that the United States of America will return ownership of Alaska to Russia.


Hell Offering Incentives to Social Media Influencers

HELL – In an effort to increase its public perception, Hell has begun offering social media influencers incentives for promoting Hell.


KFC Unveils New Drink Cup Made from Chicken

LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.


White House Staff Use Cupcakes to Lure Trump to Meetings

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to get President Donald Trump to meetings on time White House staff have been using cupcakes tied to strings to lure him into the correct room at the correct time.


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