God Admits Nation-wide Snow Storm a Result of Not Listening to Prayer Details

DENVER, CO – After recent snowstorms wreaked havoc in cities across the country, God has apologized saying he made the decision to create the winter storms after “half listening to some eight-year-old’s prayer.”


Students Arrested in Utah For Possesion of Coke

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – A pair of 20-year-old college students, Jacob Hensdale and Mark Richards, were arrested this week for possession of Coke while driving just east of Salt Lake City on Interstate 80. After being stopped for speeding, a Utah Highway Patrol officer noticed two one-litre bottles of Coca-Cola in the car’s cup holders. The pair was immediately taken into custody.


Survey: Truck Owners With Big Lift Likely To Have Small Penis

HOUSTON, TX – A recent survey by Car & Truck magazine concluded that there exists an indirect relation between the lift in a truck and the size of the owner’s penis – meaning that as the size of the lift increases, the penis size decreases. Although the relationship had been previously speculated by much of the American population, the survey marks the first documented evidence of the correlation.


Feature Adds Spouse’s Voice to Tom Tom GPS

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS – Tom Tom has unveiled a new feature to its voice guided GPS navigation system that will allow customers to load the voice of their spouse into the device to make for a more “familiar” driving experience.

This new service will be called Voice Voice and will be available in the next generation of Tom Tom GPS navigation devices beginning early next year.


Babies Hot New Fall Fashion

NEW YORK CITY, NY – Whether celebrities fly to Africa and Asia to get one or simply make one the old fashioned way, it’s clear that this fall’s hot, new fashion accessory is a baby. Babies are popping up all over the place in the arms of celebrities and socialites driving demand for babies and baby accessories through the roof.


OnStar Offering Subscribers Several New Services

DETROIT, MI – To increase subscribers, the driver assistance system OnStar will be unveiling several new features aimed at easing the life of drivers world wide. One of the first new systems to be implemented will be a service to help drivers identify good, out-of-the-way places to bury dead bodies.


Oscars’ Producers Looking to Revamp Awards Show

HOLLYWOOD, CA – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is planning changes to the Academy Awards to update the awards and appeal to a larger audience.


Local Grandmother Doesn’t Understand the Kony Thing

ORLANDO, FL – Although her family members and friends have tried to explain it, local Grandmother Helen LaFornte doesn’t understand “the Kony thing.”


Arizona Will Open Camps to Sort Illegal, Legal Hispanics

GLENDALE, AZ – The state legislature of Arizona has authorized opening several camps where officials will be able to distinguish which Hispanic-looking people are here illegally.


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