bin Laden Announces Support for Huckabee Nomination

A MOUNTAIN, PAKISTAN – Pundit and world famous terrorist Osama bin Laden has announced his support for Republican Mike Huckabee as the Republican Presidential nominee.


Man Celebrates Black History Month By Dating Black Woman

WILLIAMSON, NJ – In an effort to celebrate Black History Month, John Henderson, a Caucasian, decided that he would date Carol Daniels, an African American woman. Henderson asked Daniels out on February first, the beginning of the celebratory month.


Jesus Christ Distancing Himself From Tim Tebow

NEW YORK, NY – As Tim Tebow’s NFL career looks to be in jeopardy, one time fan Jesus Christ has begun distancing himself from the football player.


Local Woman Regreting Decision to Buy New Puppy

DURANGO, CO – Less than three months after buying a Black Labrador Retriever puppy, local woman Gail Freiberg, has expressed dissatisfaction with both the puppy and the decision to adopt the puppy.


Did O'Connor Dis Albright With this Tweet?

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Sandra Day O’Connor posted a tweet yesterday that may or may not have been a dig at former pal Madeleine Albright.


Climate Change Denier Really Just Mad At Someone

BOSTON, MA – The single scientist who does not agree with the theory of global warming has admitted the only reason for his dissenting opinion is because he is mad at someone.


Reno Called in to Settle Dave Matthews CD Dispute

BOULDER, CO – Attorney General Janet Reno worked with outside intermediaries in Boulder, Co Friday on a possible agreement that would transfer custody of the Dave Matthews Band Compact Disc from Charise Wilson to its rightful owner, James “Doppey” Rathmuseon III immediately, a Justice Department spokeswoman said.


Local Christian Boy Wishes He Was Jewish

QUEENS, NY – Local 11-year-old Christian, Bradly Mickleson, wishes he was Jewish so he could celebrate Hanukah and receive gifts for eight consecutive days.


Jesus Sues Mormons Over Name

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Jesus Christ revealed earlier this week his intentions of pursuing legal action against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for illegal use of his name and image. Although speculation has been rampant for months, Christ made the decision public during a benefit for St. Luke’s Memorial Hospital Children’s Burn Ward.


Godzilla Denies Causing Japan Earthquake

TOKYO, JAPAN – In an effort to avoid further public outcry, Godzilla held a press conference earlier this week to deny any involvement in the recent Japanese earthquakes and tsunamis.

“In the weeks since the disaster, my name has been thrown out a lot as being responsible for this terrible, terrible disaster,” said Godzilla.


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