Psychologists Define New Addictions Affecting Only Men

NEWARK, DE – The American Association of Psychologists has voted to add several new addictions to the accepted resource for mental illness, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.


Five Ways to Tell If You Are Addicted to Your Phone

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As smartphones have become an increasingly important part of our lives some experts are growing concerned we may be developing an addicted to our phones.


Cookie Monster Checks Into Rehab After Intervention

VENTURA, CA – Friends and family of the TV star Cookie Monster held what they are referring to as “a successful intervention” last month in an effort to get Monster clean and free from his cookie addiction.


Father Doesn't Find Daily Show Funny

LITTLE ROCK, AR – A local father of two, Edgar Glen, has told his family that he doesn’t see what’s so great or funny about The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.


80's Commercial Star The Noid Headed For Rehab - Again

BILLINGS, MT – For the third time in six years, the Domino’s Noid is entering a drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility. This latest attempt at sobriety comes as a court order from last year’s cocaine induced altercation with Montana police.


Group Wants Parents to Stop Encouraging Kids

MOBILE, AL – In an effort to ensure kids grow up to become successful and that comedy remains funny, parents have been asked to stop telling their children that they are funny.

During a conference aimed at reducing the amount of unfunny and unsuccessful teenagers, the American Society for Child Development, the Comedy Writers Guild of America and the American Association of Psychologists agreed children should not be told they are funny by their parents.


Local Runner Won’t Stop Talking About Running

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – While the Portland Marathon isn’t until next month, local runner, Jassie Hill won’t stop talking about her preparation and training.


Frito-Lay Sued for Making America Fat

CHICAGO, IL – Taking a cue from the recent barrage of lawsuits against tobacco companies, Gary Brown, 47, has filed a lawsuit of his own against a company he feels has deceived him.


Jonathan Taylor Thomas to Star in Next Hollywood Meltdown

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Television actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas has landed the starring role in the next complete Hollywood meltdown.


Limbaugh Can’t Remember Why He Hates Minorities

PALM BEACH, FL – Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has admitted that he can no longer remember why he hates Democrats, poor people and minorities.


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