Restaurants to Server Half Eaten Meals to Children

LOS ANGELES, CA – Beginning this month, several prominent restaurant chains will begin serving children meals that come half-eaten.


Cardboard Cutouts Start Fight at Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.


Texan Testing Canadian's Patience

VANCOUVER, BC – A tourist from Texas is testing a Canadian waiter’s patience and politeness.


Families Agree to Ignore Last Six Months This Holiday

WASHINGTON, DC – American families have unanimously agreed to ignore the last couple months and just enjoy a quiet thanksgiving dinner.


Man Promises to Not Get Too Drunk at New Year’s Eve Party

MIDDLETON, WI – Local man Jesse Guentert has told his friends that he will try to drink only a small amount of alcohol at their New Year’s Eve party.


With One “Nice” Kid, Santa Annouces Retirement

NORTH POLE – After a year in which there was only one “nice” child, Santa Claus says he will officially retire from delivering toys to children on Christmas Eve.


Vacation Ready Supreme Court Issues “First Born” Ruling

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a pre-vacation ruling, the Supreme Court has issued one of its most controversial rulings, upholding Comcast’s right to demand customer’s first-born children as payment.


Budweiser in Fridge Reveals Bad Relationship

SILVER SPRINGS, MD – Friends said they were shocked and saddened when they discovered a Budweiser beer in the refrigerator of Cammie Wenshaw, indicating a new and likely bad relationship.


Man Makes Resolution with No Intent to Keep It

PINE BLUFF, AR – Local man James Freeny made a New Year’s resolution that he never intended to keep.


Dutch Oven Victim Identifies with Chemical Weapon Victims

Jaime Wingham immediately felt a kinship to all the people in Syria who were affected by the attacks. Wingman has admitted that for years she has been the victim of chemical attacks in the form of Dutch Ovens.


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