Published June 2021
HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.
Published October 2020
Hello, hello, HELLOOOOOOOO! Oh. My. GOD. It has been forever! It is I, your bestest friend in all of the deep, dark web – Beth Sinclair!
Published September 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A new Executive Order has been signed by President Trump making it illegal for businesses to sell donuts with holes in the middle.
“We are getting ripped off with our donuts. We always have been. It’s Obama’s fault. And Crooked Hillary. And also the fake news media,” said Trump.
Published July 2018
NEW YORK, NY – Following current industry standards The Scoop News editorial staff have selected random tweets to report as actual news, instead of working, interviewing, and writing about current events.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Published December 2016
DENVER, CO – A lifetime of silliness was validated last week when local man Christopher Meens finally appeared on the Jumbotron during a Colorado Avalanche hockey game.
Published September 2016
LOS ANGELES, CA – Holy freaking guacamole you guys! It has been, like, forever since I was last able to grace your eye holes with my everlasting words of wisdom!
Published August 2014
I’m here today to give you my picks for the best vacation spots here in the good ol’ US of A.
Published May 2013
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Ho! Ly! Cow people! It seems like it has been for ever since I wrote a column for you guys. I know! I’ve missed you too.
Published May 2011
IOWA CITY, IA – Customers at a local coffee shop are becoming increasingly annoyed at a woman who will not stop talking about the book she is reading.
Published March 2010
BETHESDA, MD – At a rally just outside of Bethesda, Jesus Christ announced to a gathered crowd of more than 35,000 that he wants the recently passed Health Care Reform legislation repealed.
“This so-called ‘health reform’ is illegal and un-American,” said Christ. “Obama and his team of communists have forced health care down our throats. This isn’t what I teach!”