Beginning this month, ESPN will offer a new simulcast cast during NFL games featuring a drunk, racist uncle.

ESPN Launches New DRUncle Cast for NFL Games

NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.


Some generic actors star in one of the new Hallmark Channel holiday films.

Hallmark Channel Releases Seven New Holiday Movies

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Hallmark Channel has released its upcoming holiday movie schedule which includes several new holiday movies.


Old Man Winter exposes himself to a woman outside of Helsinki.

Odd Weather Has Old Man Winter’s Friends and Family Concerned He May be Using Drugs

WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.


According to data published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, both depression and suicide has been rising among males since 2000.

NFL Launches “Don’t Be a Pussy” Men’s Mental Health Campaign

NEW YORK, NY – The National Football League has launched a new campaign called “Don’t Be a Pussy” aimed at promoting good mental health among men.


A white, middle-aged man listens to music made in the 1960s.

White, Middle-aged Men Upset with Recent 500 Best Songs List

LOS ANGELES, CA – Middle-aged, white men across the country are expressing their anger with an entertainment magazine’s recent list of the 500 best songs of all time.


Facebook U will offer Facebook users the chance to obtain degrees in "research," "whataboutism," and "Foreign Policy."

Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.


Amazon Assures Fans New Lord of the Rings Series Will Have Extreme Violence, Nudity, Incest

NEW YORK, NY – Amazon has released a statement assuring subscribers that the upcoming Lord of the Rings series will contain the amount of violence, nudity, and incest that fantasy television viewers have become accustomed to in recent years.


Republic of Rock! founder Chris Markson.

Internet Group Aims to Help Republicans Find Republican-friendly Rock Music

NASHVILLE, TN – A new online support group has been launched to help Republicans find music made by artists that align with current Republican values.


A player for the German Women's Soccer team rests after playing for one minutes.

Olympic Events Changed to Help COVID Affected Athletes

TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.


Adult Stores Struggle with Inventories as Social Distancing Eases

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Adult stores across the country are dealing with inventory issues as Americans become vaccinated against COVID-19 and the need for social distancing is rapidly decreasing.


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