

Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs
Published August 2022PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.

Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician
Published August 2022TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.

Inflation impacting OnlyFans Subscriptions
Published August 2022LOS ANGELES, CA – OnlyFans subscribers are feeling the impact of inflation as the amount of content they receive for their subscriptions has decreased.

Decorators Offer Tips for Decorating Your New Bedroom in Your Parent’s Basement
Published May 2022LOS ANGELES, CA – As thousands of students graduate college and move back in with their parents, redecorating tips for basement living spaces has become a popular social media trend.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable
Published April 2022AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.

Country Singer Considering Using N-word to Boost Album Sales
Published January 2022NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.

ESPN Launches New DRUncle Cast for NFL Games
Published January 2022NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.

Hallmark Channel Releases Seven New Holiday Movies
Published November 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – The Hallmark Channel has released its upcoming holiday movie schedule which includes several new holiday movies.

Odd Weather Has Old Man Winter’s Friends and Family Concerned He May be Using Drugs
Published November 2021WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.
