A drink cup made from fried chicken will soon be available at KFCs nationwide.

KFC Unveils New Drink Cup Made from Chicken

LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.


President Donald Trump has requested China set up a meeting with General Tso to discuss chicken.

Trump Wants to Meet General Tso about Chicken

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has sent an official request to the Chinese government asking for a meeting with General Tso to discuss the General’s chicken.
“I told China, let me talk to this General Tso guy. I want to talk to him about his chicken. It’s very good chicken and I’d like to talk to him. That’s what I told China. I’m very good at telling China things,” said Trump.

Cutenism, the hottest new diet, consists of eating only cute animals.

Eating Cute Animals Diet Craze Sweeping Nation

LOS ANGELES, CA – The newest food craze to sweep the Southern California coast is called cutenism which limits diets to eating only animals which are generally regarded as cute.

“Here in SoCal we are cutting edge. We lead the country in new and exciting dietary restrictions,” said nutritionist Gail Lowell. “The gluten-free diet is so two years ago. People want a new dietary restriction that they can use as an excuse.”


Kenny Drew is still showing off his Segway.

Local Man Still Showing Off His Segway

LONG BEACH, CA – Despite a steep decline in sales and popularity, local man Kenny Drew sill shows off his Segway at every opportunity.


Gypsy Responsible for Trump’s Sucsess Found

SPRINGFIELD, KY – The gypsy behind Donald Trumps continued political success has been located and captured by Federal agents.

“We can proudly say that this nightmare that we’ve been living the last several months is almost at an end,” said FBI Special Agent, Carmine Caruso.


Hooters parent company, Chanticleer Holdings, is expanding in to medical care with the new Breastview Hospital.

Hooters Parent Company Opening New Hospitals

KANSAS CITY, KS – The company behind Hooters is expanding in to healthcare and will soon open a new health care clinic called Breastview Hospital.

Chanticleer Holdings, the company behind Hooters and BT’s Burger Joint, is branching out, beyond hamburgers and wings, as part of a new business strategy to meet customer needs.


Next Year’s Top Five U.S. Vacation Spots

I’m here today to give you my picks for the best vacation spots here in the good ol’ US of A.


KFC Geneticists Developing All-Skin Chicken

LOUISVILLE, KY – A Public Relations spokesman for KFC confirmed rumors that company scientists are working to genetically engineer an all-skin chicken for the fast food chain.


Father Time Asked to Move End of the World Up

SPACE, TIME – A petition has been delivered to Father Time requesting that the end of the world, currently scheduled for 2012, be moved forward.


Protestors Call for Mayor McCheese to Step Down

MCDONALD CITY, MCDONALDLAND- Violence has escalated in the capital city of McDonaldland as millions have taken to the streets protesting the government and calling for the removal of Mayor McCheese.

“McCheese is a monster and he must go!” said protester Patty McHambuerger. “We will not stand behind him anymore! Someone should eat his face!”


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