Scientists believe climate change may be caused by a single thermostat set to a very hot temperature.

Global Warming Traced to Florida Grandmother's Thermostat

BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.


KFC Unveils New Drink Cup Made from Chicken

LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.


Scientists behind the computer simulation we know as reality said the simulation will be ending soon.

Computer Simulation Known as “Reality” Ending

BOSTON,MA – The scientists behind the computer simulation we know as reality have decided to end the simulation after a series of recent events wielded “bizarre results.”
“This current simulation, basically what you know as your ‘reality,’ has just gone off the rails,” said lead Simulation Programmer, Trent Stein. “(The simulation) got a little dicey in what you would refer to as the 2000s but things straightened out. Now, where this simulation is now, wow. Just… wow. This simulation has just produced some honestly stupid results. So instead of watching (the simulation) just fall apart or spin out of control we are going to scrap the whole damn thing. I know that sucks for you but… it’s really for the best.”

Inventor Thomas Dollbe has realized the world is not ready for his invention; Poop powered cars.

Inventor Realizes World Not Ready For Poop Powered Cars

ST. PAUL, MN – Shortly after presenting his newest invention Thomas Dollbe had to come to terms with the realization that the world may not be ready for cars powered by human feces.


Climate Change Denier Really Just Mad At Someone

BOSTON, MA – The single scientist who does not agree with the theory of global warming has admitted the only reason for his dissenting opinion is because he is mad at someone.


Fox News Interrupts Lies, Conjecture with News

NEW YORK CITY, NY – Last month the Fox News channel interrupted a series of lies and conjecture to report actual, opinion-free news.

As hurricane Sandy hit the east coast late last month, Fox News broadcaster Jonathan Hunt interrupted a news story about the Obama Administrations plan to destroy the Christian church with real, honest, opinion-free news about the hurricane’s affect on cities.


Study: Everything is Everyone Else’s Fault

CHICAGO, MD – A recent survey conducted by the University of Chicago School of Sociology shows that almost 100% of Americans are 100% sure all that everything “bad” is everyone else’s fault.

The survey was conducted late last month and included responses from more than one million Americans.


Giant Laser Found On Mars, Pointed At Earth

WASHINGTON, DC – Scientists in Washington, DC made a surprising discovery last month that has forced the world to reconsider its stance on global warming. What the scientist discovered appears to be a giant laser on the surface of Mars pointed directly at earth.


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