Published January 2018
SPOKANE, WA – Washington State University announced last week that it will be renaming the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication to BuzzFeed College of Clickbaiting.
Published August 2002
WASHINGTON D.C. – After month’s of bitter arguing and failed attempts at rebuilding their relationship, President Bush and Iraq President Saddam Hussein have agreed to attend couples counseling. Both plan on retreating to Camp David with world-renowned therapist Kelli Steinberg later this month.
Published November 2009
CINCINNATI, OH – A Twitter outage has prevented local teen Dakota Lundstrom from communicating with her friends about her love of waffles.
Published June 2009
SANTA CRUZ, CA – An epidemic is sweeping the nation as the popular website Twitter is being used more and more regularly to post vague and generally uninteresting messages.
Published June 2005
LOS ANGELES, CA – As Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith exits theaters, parents all across the nation are calling in psychiatrists and other counselors to help their 30-something children transition from a life filled with Jedi and Storm Troopers and into a normal life.
Published September 2000
TEMPE, AZ – The world of Philosophy was turned on end last month as Arizona State University student Kip Stegman released the most complete and modern theory as to the meaning of life. Stegman’s theory states simply that the meaning of life is to simply “not die.”
Published December 2016
UPLAND, CA -In what doctors are reporting as a medical breakthrough, 15-year-old Rachelle Bremerton has said a complete sentence for the first time in three years.
Published January 2003
BATON ROUGE, LA – In a study released last week, the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that women would be capable of accomplishing more both in the home and in the office if they only “kept their mouths shut.”
Published April 2001
DOWNER’S GROVE, IL – Early Thursday morning Cal Bowdler, ICG Chief Financial Officer, received a very unnerving phone call from the SEC. His company was being acquired via hostile takeover, and there was nothing neither he, nor the few remaining shareholders of ICG could do to stop it. The suitors turned out to be Josh, 21, and Chad Meyers, 25, two unemployed brothers located in Downer’s Grove, Illinois.
Published July 2002
HELL – In an attempt to improve its image and promote a happier atmosphere, Hell has hired a new marketing firm and image consultant. Blake, Stein and Wills Marketing will take over all public relations and advertising for the underworld getaway in an effort to “bring back the luster and mystique that Hades deserves.”