Published December 2004
FLAGSTAFF, AZ – In an effort to assist a co-worker his sex life, secretary Jenny Hill offered relationship advice, despite the fact that she was not consulted. The advice, which included tips on how to “get her into the sack as soon as possible,” was initially ignored by the co-worker, forcing Hill to be more aggressive in her efforts to help.
Published February 2009
MESA, AZ – After returning from a first date with Rachelle Vargas, local man James Sheppard reported on his blog (alliwantisawomanbecuaseimlonely.blog.com) that Vargas looked nothing like her picture on Match.com.
Published January 2012
COLUMBIA, SC – A group of sociologists based out of the University of South Carolina have proved, with very large numbers, that women do not, in fact, dig scars.
Published February 2009
WILLIAMSON, NJ – In an effort to celebrate Black History Month, John Henderson, a Caucasian, decided that he would date Carol Daniels, an African American woman. Henderson asked Daniels out on February first, the beginning of the celebratory month.
Published October 2012
OAKLAND, CA – In response to the growing number of niche dating websites, two new sites have started the debate of how specific is too specific.
Published May 2002
BOSTON, MA – After years of playing games and “messing around,” Gary Stipple has decided to get serious about relationships with members of the opposite sex. The decision was said to be a long and arduous one, with Stipple only coming to his decision after a long talk with his mother.
Published February 2011
SPACE, TIME – A petition has been delivered to Father Time requesting that the end of the world, currently scheduled for 2012, be moved forward.
Published February 2007
LONDON, ENGLAND – Jesus Christ, religious figurehead for millions, will not be returning to Earth this month as was previously scheduled. This latest announcement marks the 11th time Christ has postponed his return to Earth in the past 200 years.
Published September 2015
NEW YORK, NY – As the world becomes more dangerous, a growing trend is creating a list of “must do”s to be completed before one dies – commonly known as a “bucket list.”
Published November 2013
MODESTO, CA – Over the past several weeks local Christian Jerome Hopkins has been aggressively wishing co-workers a “merry Christmas,” regardless of his coworkers’ actual religious beliefs.