Local Man No Longer Feels Comfortable in His Man-Cave

SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local man Jared Waterton says that he is no longer comfortable in his football-themed man-cave.


New Mother May Be Taking Baby’s First Christmas Too Far

ANN ARBOR, MI – According to her friends and family, new mother Josephine Montrell is “going a little overboard” in celebrating her baby’s first Christmas.


Decorating For Christmas: Tips from the Professionals

NEW YORK, NY – Decorating for the holidays has become competitive in many neighborhoods across the country regardless of one’s religion.


Beth Sinclair: Have the Perfect Thanksgiving Diner

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hello all my shining little readers, it is I, Beth Sinclair and boy do I have things to tell you! It seems like forever ago that I got to talk to all my little Beth-heads out there.


Mexico Ready To Join Space Race

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – Earlier this week, a representative from the Mexican Government stunned the world with his announcement of Mexico’s plan to compete with the U.S. and Russia in space exploration.
The announcement, held outside of the Presidential palace, held about it a aura of joy and wonder.
“We feel that it is time that our attention was turned to the skies,” Juan Sanchez, Special Aid to the President, said.


Nation's First Gay Care Center Opening In Seattle

SEATTLE, WA – In hopes of capitalizing on a large population of homosexuals living in the Seattle area, local entrepreneur, Terri Jillette, is opening the countries first Gay Care facility.


Parents Confused by Child’s Resemblance to Neighbor

ELKTON, MD – A local couple says they are confused by their child’s resemblance to their next door neighbor.


Coworkers Find Office Decorations “Over the Top”

NEWARK, DE – Several employees of CPTB Industries have described the Christmas decorations in a co-workers cubicle as “a little over the top.”


Man Will Take Down Christmas Lights When He Feels Like It

MODESTO, CA – Local Man Dennis Clarke has told his family, friends and neighbors that he’ll take down his fucking Christmas lights when he fucking feels like it.


Trump Scratches at the Wall for Over an Hour

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been standing at the wall of the Oval Office for over an hour scratching at a spot on the wall.

“You see this, this is unbelievable,” said Trump. “How can something like this happen? I’m the greatest President in the history of the world. Look at this office. No one has ever decorated it like I have. I’ve got pictures of my daughter, who is insanely beautiful. Probably the most beautiful woman in the entire universe, and that’s because my genes are so incredible. Look at her. Just look at her. Just… her.”


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