Published May 2020
RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.
Published October 2019
LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.
Published February 2017
The Scoop News has traveled around America tasting every burger in every state, and now we’ve compiled a list of our favorites. Here are The Scoop News’ top 10 burgers in America.
Published August 2012
LOUISVILLE, KY – A Public Relations spokesman for KFC confirmed rumors that company scientists are working to genetically engineer an all-skin chicken for the fast food chain.
Published February 2012
DAMASCUS, SYRIA – As the blood shed continues in Syria, experts on Middle East politics have begun to identify a number of possible reasons for the escalation in violence.
Published May 2010
NEW ORLEANS, LA – American fast food company Long John Silver’s has secured exclusive fishing rights in the Gulf of Mexico as it hopes to capitalize on the recent oil spill. The company is hoping to both make a substantial profit from “already oiled fish” and perhaps remove the oil from the water.
“What we have here is an amazing opportunity,” said Long John Silver’s president Walter Johnson.
Published June 2004
DES PLAINES, IL – In an effort to capitalize on the success of the Adult Happy Meals, the fast food company McDonald’s will begin offering similar meals geared towards teens called Angst Meals. The meals will include a super-size drink, filled half full, a large French Fry, three cheeseburgers and a “special gift.”
Published December 2003
NEW YORK, NY – With grocery stores and fast food restaurants catering to America’s new diet trend, a group of three New York models are marketing a new diet which the models say “will revolutionize weight loss as we know it.”
Published December 2002
STERLING, VA – During a closed meeting in Vatican City last week it was decided that the Catholic Church, which has recently been facing both monetary and moral trouble, will be sold in full to the worldwide fast food chain McDonald’s. Both the Pope and Edgar Steves, McDonald’s spokesman were pleased with the new venture and expressed optimism for the sweeping changes to both the religious and fast food worlds that this merger will bring forth.
Published January 2002
JOPLIN, MO – Like most aspiring artists, Ben Candrel simply wants to be recognized and appreciated for his work, his creations. Between the hours of 11 AM and 7 PM, Candrel is a Subway Sandwich artist and according to his boss Jake Birch, the best sandwich artist “this side of the Mississip’.”