Published February 2005
WESTMINSTER, CO – During a conversation with friends, local teen Jared Gabriel announced that he had recently become involved with a teenage girl, from Canada. The relationship, which began while Gabriel was vacationing in Ottawa, is, according to Gabriel, full of passion, love and online chats.
Published September 2008
EVANSVILLE, IN – Online friends of Jason Delley notified local police this week after Delley failed to show up for a second consecutive World of Warcraft gaming session. Delley, who was listed as a missing person for over 36 hours, eventually resurfaced and informed his friends and family that he had actually been with his girlfriend.
Published March 2004
SALEM, OR – In an announcement made at a press conference, friends and family of Peter McMahhn revealed that despite actions to the contrary, they in fact really did not like McMahhn and thought it would be best if he just killed himself.
Published October 2005
CLEVELAND, OH – Only a few seconds after he called in sick to work, co-workers of Carl Mayer set a new world record for speculation on Tuesday. Mayer, who claimed to have a sore throat and fever called in to his office at 7:37:24, and by 7:37:27 rumors were already running rampant about the true cause of his absence.
Published July 2003
TEMPE, AZ – Network Consultant Steven J. Welsly expressed concerns to friends and family earlier this month that his current girlfriend, Carol Collins, is becoming more and more distant despite his efforts to advance the relationship.
Published November 2007
AUSTIN, TX – Anticipating an emotionally difficult winter break, Brown University freshman Dylan Grayson is preparing a speech to let his parents know he’s gay. The Winter school break will be the first time Grayson has seen his parents since the school year started in August and according to Grayson, his parents are unaware of his homosexuality.
Published January 2017
EUGENE, OR – A recent snowstorm has forced a local man to think about how much he really like the woman he is currently dating.
Published February 2004
CHICAGO, IL – A group of friends unanimously decided Thursday that a mutual friend of the group, Royce Burris, was far too proud of being Canadian and far to patriotic. The decision came shortly after Burris’ departure from the group as they enjoyed a dinner at a local Chili’s Restaurant.
Published February 2009
QUEENS, NY – For the seventh consecutive year, Jason Corgan, 29, will not be getting as much of a tax refund as he was expecting. Corgan, who figured that he would be receiving about four thousand dollars from the government this year, will actually only be getting back $37.
Published June 2005
LOS ANGELES, CA – As Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith exits theaters, parents all across the nation are calling in psychiatrists and other counselors to help their 30-something children transition from a life filled with Jedi and Storm Troopers and into a normal life.