Grandmother Just Wants One Normal Thanksgiving

CINCINNATI, OH – Local grandmother has told her family that she just wants a normal Thanksgiving Dinner this year without any “craziness.”


Local Grandmother Doesn’t Understand the Kony Thing

ORLANDO, FL – Although her family members and friends have tried to explain it, local Grandmother Helen LaFornte doesn’t understand “the Kony thing.”


Grandmother Still Waiting for Chainletter to Pay Off

OMAHA, NE – Local grand mother, Cheryl Gilchrist, has been patiently waiting the riches promised in a chain letter she sent to 10 friends 25 years ago.


Miss Nude World 1971 Comes Out of Retirement

PENSACOLA, FL – Nude Miss World legend, Bunny McTitties, shocked and excited the pageant world by announcing an end to her retirement and revealing plans to return full time to posing nude. McTitties retired at the age of 45 in 1971 after five consecutive Miss Nude titles and remains the all time winningest Miss Nude with 10 total titles.


Study: Seasonal Depression Linked To Crappy Gifts

DOVER, MA – According to a recent study in the Journal of Scientific Theory, there is direct correlation between winter Seasonal Depression and bad Holiday presents. The study, a joint venture between Brown University and the American Center for Clinical Depression, was held over a five year period and involved interviewing over 7,500 people who said they became depressed or showed signs of depression during the holiday season.


Grandma Still Perfecting Thanksgiving Facebook Post

SCHAUMBURG, IL – Local grandmother has been sitting at her computer for several hours trying to generate a Thanksgiving inspired Facebook post.


700,00 Netflix Users Locked Out after Grandma Changes Password

PORTLAND, OR – Netflix users suffered a major blackout after a grandmother in Michigan changed her password, locking over 720,000 people out of Netflix.


State Department Asked to Find Nigerian Prince Who Emailed Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump asked the State Department to reach out to a Nigerian prince who had emailed and promised to send Trump several thousand dollars.


Corporation Crushes Local Menace

GURBER, AZ – The small town of Gruber, Ariz. was rescued this week from a menace that has plagued the quiet, mountain community for nearly 60 years. Corporate juggernaut Barnes and Noble Booksellers, much to the relief of the citizens, snuffed out the strong-arm business tactics of Blank Page Book Store once and for all.


Hollywood Temporary Changs the Way Women are Treated

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Responding to critics and increasing pressure from women’s groups, Hollywood studio executives say they will temporarily change many of the decades long practices with regard to women.


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