NRA Members, Anti-gun Protestors Yell Words

ATLANTA, GA – Just days after a mass shooting in a Louisiana movie theater, anti-gun advocates and the NRA faced off in another round of debates about gun control.


North Korea Releases Drone Details, Images

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – As tensions between North Korea and South Korea continue to build, North Korea has released details and images of its new drone fleet.

Based on the images released by the North Korea Military, the drones appear to be small helicopters, like those typically sold as toys for children, with guns attached to them by string or duct tape.


NRA Releases New Plan for School Safety

FAIRFAX, VA – After receiving tremendous backlash to its response to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting late last year, the National Rifle Association has released a new response suggesting that each school in the country should deploy robotic sentry guards.

“We realize that our comments after the Sandy Hook tragedy were not very popular and made (the NRA) look like horrible monsters but that’s not who the NRA is. The NRA cares about guns and people. Not just guns. But mostly guns.”


Bush's Economic Plan: Buy Locally Made Drugs

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the economy is recession, The United States Government has issued recommendations to taxpayers on how to spend their economic stimulus checks.


Trump had Spinach Stuck in Teeth for Two Weeks

WASHINGTON, D.C. – For more than two weeks, President Donald Trump has had a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth and it remains unclear if he knows that it’s there.


NSA Access Permanent School Records

WASHINGTON, DC – With approval from both Congress and the President, The National Security Agency now has access to every American’s permanent school records.

Every student who attended a school in America has a permanent record that contains information on the student including performance and disciplinary issues.

“We’ve been telling kids for generations that their permanent file will come back to haunt them and now it has,” said Department of Education Secretary, Arne Duncan.


Blogger Says Obama Wants to Bomb Heaven

DALLAS, TX – The man behind a popular Conservative news blog has announced he has proof that President Barack Obama is planning to “blow up” Heaven.


Russian Troops Posted Outside Boys Bedroom

COLUMBUS, OH – According to reports released by the U.S. State Department, Russian military forces are now poised just outside a local boy’s bedroom in what appears to be preparations for an invasion.

“We cannot confirm how many forces have been staged outside of Timmy Couch’s bedroom, but we can say that the amount appears to be a lot,” said Secretary of State, John Kerry.


Toy Magazine Releases 2015’s List of Hottest Toys

NEW YORK, NY – Toy Aficionado magazine has released its annual “Best toys” list to aide parents looking for the best and hottest toys this holiday season. The list features a number of new toys as well as a couple “old favorites.”

“This season is all about Star Wars,” said Toy Aficionado magazine Senior Editor Hal Sweera. “Star Wars has put its name on just about everything. And while the action figures and Lego sets may get a lot of attention, but the best Star War toy is actually the Rocks and Sticks set.”


Hijacked Ship off Somalia Coast Causes International Incident

MOGADISHU, SOMALIA – The hijacking of a ship containing 23 goats, three Michael Jackson look-a-likes, 107 boxes of “Dancing With The Stars” DVDs and a British Couple has caused an international incident.


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