New Study by IT Employee Suggests Humans Should Only Work Two Hours a Day

MILWAUKEE, WI – A new study conducted by Jared Weisman, an IT employee at Modera Health Care Solutions, finds humans should only work two hours a day.


Christ Rallies Supports Against Health Care Laws

BETHESDA, MD – At a rally just outside of Bethesda, Jesus Christ announced to a gathered crowd of more than 35,000 that he wants the recently passed Health Care Reform legislation repealed.
“This so-called ‘health reform’ is illegal and un-American,” said Christ. “Obama and his team of communists have forced health care down our throats. This isn’t what I teach!”


Obama Team Releases Health Care Plan

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama’s administration has released details on its proposal for overhauling the U.S. health care system. The plan, which would give nearly 90% of American’s free health care, is centered around reducing the number of Americans via free abortions and free assisted suicides.


Health Care Lobbyist Wishes for Christmas Miracle

BETHESDA, MD – Insurance lobbyist Larry Branagan is begging Congress to give him what he wants most for Christmas – no public health care option whatsoever under any new health care related legislation.


Senate Looking to Pass Health Care Bill Written on Napkin

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senate Republicans are trying to push through a new heath care bill that was written earlier today on a bar napkin.


Crazytown Mayor Not Surprised by Health Care Outbursts

CRAZYTOWN, US – The Mayor of Crazytown, Captain Artimis Buckminster III, says the protesting that has accompanied recent health care reform town halls has been well within his expectations.


Tea Party Continues To Pretend It’s Not Racist

VIRGINIA BEACH – VA – Leaders of the Tea Party movement have announced that they are continuing to pretend that they dislike President Obama purely on political terms.


Hooters Parent Company Opening New Hospitals

KANSAS CITY, KS – The company behind Hooters is expanding in to healthcare and will soon open a new health care clinic called Breastview Hospital.

Chanticleer Holdings, the company behind Hooters and BT’s Burger Joint, is branching out, beyond hamburgers and wings, as part of a new business strategy to meet customer needs.


Study: Everything is Everyone Else’s Fault

CHICAGO, MD – A recent survey conducted by the University of Chicago School of Sociology shows that almost 100% of Americans are 100% sure all that everything “bad” is everyone else’s fault.

The survey was conducted late last month and included responses from more than one million Americans.


Democrats Planning to Use Reverse Psychology

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the super majority in the Senate, Democrats have switched strategies for passing legislation. Democratic leaders are now going to start using reverse psychology to get the bills they deem important through the Senate and house.
“Realistically (reverse psychology) is going to be a pretty simple thing to implement,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.


Back to Top