Published April 2013
DALLAS, TX – The man behind a popular Conservative news blog has announced he has proof that President Barack Obama is planning to “blow up” Heaven.
Published August 2004
BILLINGS, MT – For the third time in six years, the Domino’s Noid is entering a drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility. This latest attempt at sobriety comes as a court order from last year’s cocaine induced altercation with Montana police.
Published January 2016
NEW YORK, NY – There is a new city at the top of this year’s The Scoop News’ semi-annual list of best places to live although it may not come as a surprise to the people who live there.
Published February 2017
The Scoop News has traveled around America tasting every burger in every state, and now we’ve compiled a list of our favorites. Here are The Scoop News’ top 10 burgers in America.
Published December 2017
HEAVEN – In a statement to the human race, god apologized for an error in his creation model that generated a higher percentage of male creeps than god had intended.
Published January 2008
WATSONS GLENN, VA – A Valentine’s Day gift given to Jessica Berg by her boyfriend Adam Benjamin has forced Berg to reevaluate the couple’s relationship. The gift, edible panties, is regarded by Berg as “fuckin’ bullshit.”
Published July 2015
BISMARCK, ND – After months of debating, soul searching and consulting with family members, local man Dean Weebers has decided to pull his wife, who is in a Pinterest coma, of life support.
Published October 2017
SCHAUMBURG, IL – Local grandmother has been sitting at her computer for several hours trying to generate a Thanksgiving inspired Facebook post.
Published August 2003
LINCOLN, NE – A small pharmaceutical company in Nebraska plans to market a new pill which the company reports will allow women to orgasm 97% faster, bringing the female orgasm within minutes of the male. Medi-Drug Pharmaceuticals will release the pill nation wide, pending approval from the FDA, under the name Fasm. The name comes from the combining the words fast and orgasm.
Published June 2016
LOS ANGELES, CA – The newest food craze to sweep the Southern California coast is called cutenism which limits diets to eating only animals which are generally regarded as cute.
“Here in SoCal we are cutting edge. We lead the country in new and exciting dietary restrictions,” said nutritionist Gail Lowell. “The gluten-free diet is so two years ago. People want a new dietary restriction that they can use as an excuse.”