MONTHLY SATIRICAL MAGAZINE
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Published October 2007
…CINCINNATI, OH – A local warehouse is being transformed into something frightening … upcoming Halloween holiday. The Suburban Scare House will open this week and while it will offer … specific group is targeted with this new haunted house – white, soccer moms. “There is a … for scaring soccer moms,” said Haunted House organizer Jeffrey Tandours. “Fox News and … suburban mothers for years now and this haunted house will give these same soccer moms a chance to …
Published November 2001
…Doug could compete with us? Have you seen his house? It’s so small you can barely move around … in the Benson’s plan was to purchase a new house in a nice, upper middleclass neighborhood. They … paid for theirs.” “Once we got the house we just needed to fill it with all sorts of … “The whole time we were decorating our house the people who own the house behind ours …
Published September 2001
…Thursday to again remove one of its members. The housemates have asked fellow member Pat Buchanan to … leave the house on his own or he will be kicked out. Buchanan has … began petitioning the other members of the house to get the Hispanic camera guy deported back to … off on a homeless guy living on the side of the house. All yelling at him to get a job and what not. … to make the others wear uniforms around the house and refer to him as Das Fuer.” According to …
Published July 2005
…approval rating at an all time low, the White House unveiled a new method for acquiring the approval … a press conference earlier this week. White House Press secretary Ari Fleischer described the new … The polling will be conducted by a White House appointed firm and once results are tallied, the … information will be delivered,” said White House adviser Karl Rove. “Everyone in this … system, a new bill has been proposed in the House of Representatives to disallow media outlets and …
Published September 2009
…to a recent report released by the White House, the violence in Mexico border towns has reached … of violence seen in Mexico since 1972. The White House released the report in hopes of giving Americans … stop it from spilling over the border, the White House has offered assistance and personnel to the … Glover or Mel Gibson, if not both,” said White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. “The violence … control before it begins to spill over into our house. We’d send troops but they are all busy. And …
Published October 2005
…country can now barely afford a third or fourth house. With the consumer confidence index low, gas … comes time to make necessary purchases like third houses, new yachts or even bail money for their … J. Wolf III. “We voted Bush into the White House to ensure our survival, but due to things beyond … The rich people can’t buy another house? That’s a fucking tragedy!” said Mark … pricks can’t but a damn 50,000 square beach house and they act like it’s the end of the …
Published April 2007
…I mean no one, will believe it,” said White House spokesman Tony Snow. “I don’t want to … According to rumors around the White House, Bush is not only looking to top his own scandals … you see what Bush has planned,” said White House Chef Gordon LaFlure. “Let’s just say …
Published June 2006
…tramp… then she got drunk and set herself and my house on fire. But then this idea came to me. I know … yard or worse yet, that their gay burned down the house because they were trying to redecorate the house
Published February 2001
…down on the Sterty home destroying most of the house and garage leaving one of Sterty’s children … coldly took from us. If only he had painted his house eggshell instead of off-white, this whole thing … neighborhood. He left us no choice and now his house will be destroyed and his family will all die … committed by Sterty include; unsanctioned house color; refusal to remove dead tree from front … Banding together with other “rebel” households who all had similar run-ins with the HOA, …
Published November 2006
…alien race, has been a majority in either the House of Representatives or the Senate. … “Now that we have control of both the House and the Senate, we will be unstoppable,” … the KNA will move swiftly in restructuring the House and Senate into more organized and efficient … in court, you can bet your ass,” said House Speaker Dennis Hastert. “The Klingons will …