Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Spokesbear Diagnosed with Diabetes

DURANGO, CO – The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory spokesbear, Truffles, has announced that she has been diagnosed with diabetes due to a decades-long diet comprised almost exclusively of chocolate.


Online Reviewer Close to Completing Next Yelp Review

BROOKLYN, NY – It’s been nearly three days since he ate lunch at Ravenwood Tavern, but Tearstin Wilkes says he is close to completing his Yelp review of the restaurant.


Jennifer Lawrence Brings Peace to Middle East

WASHINGTON, D.C. – America’s beloved actress, Jennifer Lawrence, has brought peace to the entire Middle East.

“Jennifer Lawrence came here and looked me right in the eye and said that there should be peace so I made peace,” said Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “As much as I want to be true to my people and my country, above all I want to make Jennifer Lawrence happy. She is just a really great girl. She deserves to be happy.”


Local Man Already Regretting His Twitter Username

FREDERICK, MD – Last month Treddle signed up for Twitter with the username FuckRogers6969696 and came to regret the decision almost immediately.


Japan’s Used Panty Vending Machine Industry Struggling

TOKYO, JAPAN – As Japan continues to recover from the massive March earthquake, concern is rising that the nation’s used panty vending machine industry may be unable to recover.


Twitter Becoming Too Much Work for Comedian

LOS ANGELES, CA – Comedian Steven Yips says he is may delete his Twitter account as the pressure to post humorous updates to Twitter is consuming his free time.


Experts Release List of 2009's Best Jobs

DENVER, CO – With the economy struggling and massive layoffs a daily occurrence, employment experts have released a list of the top 10 paying jobs for the upcoming year. Toping that list is Employment Expert.


Local Man Annoys His Coworkers With Stupid, Pointless Story

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – A humorous story related to coworkers by Philip Canseco has been generally regarded as a waste of everyone’s time. The story was about two men in Los Angeles on their way to a basketball game at the Staples Center but accidentally go first to the Great Western Forum.


Beth Sinclair: Oscar Preview

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Well my faithful readers it’s that time of year again. It’s that special time of year when a young man’s fancy turns to romance, the birds and the bees come out to join in their hedonistic dance and the stars of Hollywood come out, though not literally, to give themselves pats on the back. Yep, you guessed it. It’s Oscar time. And let me tell you, I’m as giddy as a virgin on prom night, which for the record I wasn’t, but that’s a whole other story. This truly is a special time of year. Right after the cocaine like high of the Grammys we barely get down when we get to feel the euphoric heroin high that is Hollywood’s night of nights.


Funny Thing Happens On Way To Forum

IRVINE, CA – During a road trip to see an NBA Playoff game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Detroit Pistons, a funny thing happened to friends Billy Wells and Rob Winker on their way to the Great Western Forum in Irvine, California.


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