Former Wrestler Iron Sheik Elected Prime Minister of Iraq

BAGHDAD, IRAQ – The new governing council of Iraq voted unanimously Tuesday to elect a new Prime Minister: former World Wrestling Federation champion Iron Sheik. The decision came as a shock to many but remains consistent with Iraq’s new “get tougher on terrorism” campaign.


Typo Led to Invasion of Iraq Instead of Iran

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush admitted in a press conference today that some of the intelligence received previous to the Iraq war was incorrect. The source of the problem, he said, could be traced back to a typo. Instead of “Iraq,” a key document should have read “Iran.”


Iraq Government To Be Turned Over To Student Council

BAGHBAD, IRAQ – With the deadline to transfer control of Iraq looming closer, President George W. Bush told the United Nations on June 15 that a suitable new Government has finally been found.


Bush Reveals America's Plan For Rebuilding Post-War Iraq

WASHINGTON D.C. – During his weekly radio address to the nation, President George W. Bush laid out his administration’s plan for post-war Iraq or as he referred to it “New Texas.” Bush plans to meet with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and other world leaders to discuss the plan later this month but detailed the plan in full for the American public.


Country Music Reveals It Is True Force Behind War

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – Conspiracy theorists across the globe were redeemed this week as it was revealed that the true man behind the war in Iraq is not George W. Bush but rather Charlie Anderson, President of the Country Music Association.


New Poll: Iraqi Teenagers Much Happier With Less Parents

BAGHDAD, Iraq – In a survey conducted last month, just under half of Iraqi teens said they are much better now with one or more less parents.


Military To Freeze New Recruit's Loved Ones

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In preparation for the anticipated troop build-up President Bush recently promised the United States armed forces are considering new enlistment incentives to raise the total number of troops available for deployment.


New Warning System Alerts Americans To Skank Level

WASINGTON, DC – The Department of Health and Human Services has issued a statement and simultaneously released a new warning system to track threats posed by skanks. The new system comes just weeks before the spring skank increase experienced annually in America’s warmer climates.


ISIS Hires Marketing Firm to Help Soften Image

DAMASCUS, SYRIA – After suffering a series of recent defeats, the terrorist organization known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is looking to re-brand its image in hopes of bringing in new recruits.

According to senior ISIS leaders, recruitment of new members has slowed as the population of men between the ages of 16 and 25 has been depleted.


Bush Uses Stern Face To Convey Seriousness Of Situation

WASHINGTON, D.C. – During a press conference about the recent sniper shootings in Washington, D.C., President George W. Bush made a stern, stoic facial expression to convey the severity of the situation. The expression came just after Bush made the statement “These shootings are a very serious and deinferring matter.”


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