White people from across the country plan on gathering in Washington, D.C. to protest the decline in their white privilege.

White People Plan Protest to Regain Privilege

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Thousands of middle-aged white people have scheduled a protest next month in Washington, D.C. to bring focus to the diminishing value of their white privilege.


President Trump has spent the last several weeks planning a world-wide trick-or-treat route that will ensure he gets high quality candy.

Trump Spent Months Planning Tick-or-Treat Route

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has spent the last several weeks planning a trick-or-treat route to ensure he gets “only the best” candy on Halloween.

“Trump has made it clear that his number one priority right now is putting together a trick-or-treat route that will ensure he gets good candy, like full candy bars or really expensive candy,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


Trump recently finished coloring a picture of the flag of the United States of America.

Trump Finishes Coloring American Flag Picture

WASHINGTON, DC – After working on it for a year and a half, President Donald Trump has finished coloring the first page of his Presidential Coloring book.


Despite pressure from Democrats, Trump is refusing to release his elementary school permanent record.

Trump Refusing to His Release Permanent Record

NEW YORK, NY – Despite requests from the media and Democrat Party leaders, Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump is refusing to release his permanent school record.


Next Year’s Top Five U.S. Vacation Spots

I’m here today to give you my picks for the best vacation spots here in the good ol’ US of A.


Coworkers Find Office Decorations “Over the Top”

NEWARK, DE – Several employees of CPTB Industries have described the Christmas decorations in a co-workers cubicle as “a little over the top.”


Congress Passes Laws Aimed at Stopping Santa

WASHINGTON, DC – Despite protests from the North Pole and Keep Christmas Free, Congress passed a set of new laws aimed at reducing Santa Claus’ role in Christmas.

Under the new laws, presents can no longer be delivered by chimney, reindeer can not fly within 300 miles of a major metropolitan area and if stopped by police, Santa Claus must provide documentation proving his legal authority to travel within the United States.


New Preserve Opening for Displaced Big, Gay Bears

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new bear preserve will be opening later this month in Mill Valley. Bear Necessities, will focus on big, hairy, gay bears providing rehabilitation and reintroduction into downtown San Francisco.

“Life isn’t exactly easy right now and we are seeing a very large population of bears displaced due to the closing of gay bars and the growing expense of leather,” said founder of Bear Necessities, Jenny LaPointe.


Beth Sinclair: 2010 Oscar Preview

O. M. G! Can you believe this? It is I, your corpulent collaborator of cool, and I am back with another dishing of gossip and goodness.


Six Flags Turns Gitmo Into Amusement Park

GUANTÁNAMO BAY, CUBA – Six Flags, Inc, operators of several theme parks in both the US and Canada, has purchased the controversial Guantánamo Bay Detention Camp and will turn the area into a new, family oriented theme park.


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