Published February 2007
WASHINGTON, DC – Scientists in Washington, DC made a surprising discovery last month that has forced the world to reconsider its stance on global warming. What the scientist discovered appears to be a giant laser on the surface of Mars pointed directly at earth.
Published July 2002
WASHINGTON, DC – During his weekly radio address to the nation, President Bush unveiled his Homeland Security Plan stating that “this plan will protect Americans from shore to shore – and all those people in between. Unless of course you are a terrorist, then you won’t be safe.”
Published August 2018
WASHINGTON, DC – During a joint press conference with the President of Argentina, Mauricio Macri, President Trump said he would like to open negotiations with the fictional country of Mordor.
Although Mordor is a fictional land from the popular book series Lord of the Rings, Trump said that he would be reaching out to the country’s leader to set up some “face-to-face time.”
Published March 2003
GERESK, AFGHANISTAN – A recent discovery in an abandoned cave in northern Afghanistan is causing some “uncomfortable feelings” in the White House.
Published August 2009
CRAZYTOWN, US – The Mayor of Crazytown, Captain Artimis Buckminster III, says the protesting that has accompanied recent health care reform town halls has been well within his expectations.
Published March 2007
DETROIT, MI – To increase subscribers, the driver assistance system OnStar will be unveiling several new features aimed at easing the life of drivers world wide. One of the first new systems to be implemented will be a service to help drivers identify good, out-of-the-way places to bury dead bodies.
Published March 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. – For more than two weeks, President Donald Trump has had a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth and it remains unclear if he knows that it’s there.