Gavin Crusher forgot to run the dishwasher even though he was reminded by his wife to do so.

Local Man Didn't Run Dishwasher Like He Was Supposed To

HENDERSON, NV – Local Man, Gavin Crusher, forgot to run the dishwasher probably because of a Pokémon videogame.


The United States and the European Union have blocked access to all Russian made pornography in response to Russia's invasion of Ukraine.

Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine

NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.


Local man Glenn Ramirez has made a New Year's Resolution to finish the puzzle he started in 2019.

Local Man Makes New Year's Resolution to Finally Finish Puzzle

HOUSTON, TX – For his New Year’s Resolution, local Man Glenn Ramirez has committed to finishing the jigsaw puzzle he started in 2019.


Beginning this month, ESPN will offer a new simulcast cast during NFL games featuring a drunk, racist uncle.

ESPN Launches New DRUncle Cast for NFL Games

NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.


Old Man Winter exposes himself to a woman outside of Helsinki.

Odd Weather Has Old Man Winter’s Friends and Family Concerned He May be Using Drugs

WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.


Facebook U will offer Facebook users the chance to obtain degrees in "research," "whataboutism," and "Foreign Policy."

Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.


The Scoop News Summer Movie Preview

HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.


U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.


Jacob Gregory has successfully mentioned that he owns a Tesla in every conversation he's had since purchasing a Tesla.

Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.


Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.


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