Four Million Nerds Suffer Simultaneous Orgasm

LOS ANGELES, CA – In what scientists are describing as a “major life changing event,” nerds everywhere suffered a simultaneous “nerdgasm” when the movie “X-Men: The Last Stand” was released. The “nerdgasm” was triggered by a very intense scene between the characters of Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman, and Jean Grey, played by Famke Jansen.


Bullies Joining Forces to Stop The Bullying of Bullies

DALLAS, TX – Bullies across the United States have banded together to call for an end to the call for the end of bullying.


Local Man Won’t Stop Talking About “Doctor Who”

AUSTIN, TX – Local man Justin Neeley will not stop talking about the television show “Doctor Who” despite the fact his friends and family are no longer willing to listen to him.


“Jessie” Stars Round Out Star Wars VII Cast

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With the filming set to begin in a few months, Disney has finally revealed the cast for the highly anticipated Star Wars Episode VII.


C-List Celebrity in the News for Participating in Meme

HOLLYWOOD, CA – A C-list celebrity has posted a video online of themselves participating in a popular internet meme. In the homemade video, the C-list celebrity acts silly and mugs to the camera while imitating the video that started the meme.


This Year’s Hottest Halloween Costumes

Costa Mesa, CA – Halloween is coming at the end of the month and The Scoop News has reached out to several costume stores across the country to compile a list of this year’s best selling costumes.


New Device Calculates Chances of Scoring

TOKYO, JAPAN – Sony is putting the final touches on a new device which may revolutionize dating all over the world. The small, hand-held device, tentatively called a “Bangulator,” operates similarly as a calculator and can determine the chances of a love connection between two people.


New Homeland Security Terror Alert Scale Unveiled

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Department of Homeland Security convened late last month to reevaluate the Terror Alert Scale due to widespread confusion among the American public. At the close of the meeting a new scale had been created which its creators hope will be much easier for the general public to understand.


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