Published April 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Seeking advice, President Donald Trump has been attempting to call the President from the film Independence Day.
“The President recently saw Independence Day on tv, (Trump) watches a lot of tv, and was impressed by President Whitmore,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Published January 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been standing at the bottom of a staircase in the White House waiting for the stairs to start moving thinking the staircase is an escalator.
“Right now we can confirm that the President is standing at the bottom of a staircase in the east wing of the White House waiting for the staircase to turn in to an escalator and carry him to the second floor,” said White House Fellow, Ken Destrost.
Published April 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staffer has been fired for suggesting President Donald Trump stop licking and “doing blowfishes” on the White House windows.
Published February 2018
WASHINGTON, DC – Sitting on the floor outside the office of the White House Physician, President Donald Trump is refusing to get up and leave until he is given a sucker.
“Right now I can confirm that the President, the most smartest man in the world, and who I thank every day for giving me this opportunity to work for him, he is sitting on the floor outside of the White House Physician’s office, after a very successful visit where the President was given the best health grade possible, um… where was I? Oh yeah, the President is sitting on the floor outside of the physician’s office crying and demanding a sucker,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Published November 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In response to a number of negative books about him and his time as President, Donald Trump will publish his own book that he says he has written himself “on the very best paper and using the best coloring stick pencil things.”
Published May 2019
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump asked the State Department to reach out to a Nigerian prince who had emailed and promised to send Trump several thousand dollars.
Published March 2009
PHOENIX, AZ – While it’s been several months since former President Bush left office, his administration’s immigration plan is starting to come together as Mexican nationals are leaving to return to Mexico.
Published October 2019
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to get President Donald Trump to meetings on time White House staff have been using cupcakes tied to strings to lure him into the correct room at the correct time.
Published March 2018
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump signed an executive order this week renaming the central character in The Legends of Zelda video game.
Published November 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has approved the commission and construction of a new national monument to honor the lives lost in the War on Christmas.