Trump Seeking Advice from ‘Independence Day’ President

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Seeking advice, President Donald Trump has been attempting to call the President from the film Independence Day.

“The President recently saw Independence Day on tv, (Trump) watches a lot of tv, and was impressed by President Whitmore,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


Trump Still Waiting for Stairs to Start Moving

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been standing at the bottom of a staircase in the White House waiting for the stairs to start moving thinking the staircase is an escalator.

“Right now we can confirm that the President is standing at the bottom of a staircase in the east wing of the White House waiting for the staircase to turn in to an escalator and carry him to the second floor,” said White House Fellow, Ken Destrost.


Trump Demanding Sucker after Doctor Visit

WASHINGTON, DC – Sitting on the floor outside the office of the White House Physician, President Donald Trump is refusing to get up and leave until he is given a sucker.

“Right now I can confirm that the President, the most smartest man in the world, and who I thank every day for giving me this opportunity to work for him, he is sitting on the floor outside of the White House Physician’s office, after a very successful visit where the President was given the best health grade possible, um… where was I? Oh yeah, the President is sitting on the floor outside of the physician’s office crying and demanding a sucker,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


George W. Bush's Immigration Plan Beginning to Pay Off

PHOENIX, AZ – While it’s been several months since former President Bush left office, his administration’s immigration plan is starting to come together as Mexican nationals are leaving to return to Mexico.


Trump Signs Executive Order Changing Link’s Name to Zelda

WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump signed an executive order this week renaming the central character in The Legends of Zelda video game.


White House Lays Out President Approval Rating System

WASHINGTON D.C – With President Bush’s approval rating at an all time low, the White House unveiled a new method for acquiring the approval rating during a press conference earlier this week.


Trump Signs Order to Limit Number of Words

WASHINGTON, DC – One of Donald Trump’s first actions as President of the United States was sign an Executive Order reducing the total number of words in the English language to 150.

“Trump is a dumb, dumb person and as such he does not know very many words,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer.


PTA President Denies Russian Interference in Election

ANN ARBOR, MI – The president of the Ann Arbor School District Parent Teacher Association is denying allegations that Russia influenced recent PTA elections.


Former Presidents Continue Tradition by Hazing Obama

WASHINGTON, DC – All of the living former Presidents of the United States have begun hazing newly inaugurated President Barack Obama in a tradition that dates back decades.


President Trump Staples Tie to Desk 63 Consecutive Days

WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House staffers were both surprised and shocked earlier this week when Trump managed to staple his tie to his desk for the 63rd consecutive day.


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