Local Woman Regreting Decision to Buy New Puppy

DURANGO, CO – Less than three months after buying a Black Labrador Retriever puppy, local woman Gail Freiberg, has expressed dissatisfaction with both the puppy and the decision to adopt the puppy.


Kerry Announces 'Cute Little' Puppy As Running Mate

MAMOUTH, NH – Months of speculation came to an end last Thursday as Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry announced his running mate – a golden retriever puppy.


Taliban Give Puppies to Pakistan Citizens

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan – After suffering several military defeats in recent weeks, the Taliban is calling for a return to peace talks and to prove its willingness to comply with any new cease fire, Taliban officials have distributed puppies and kittens to every household within the capital city.
“(The Taliban) want peace and we want to give people of Pakistan peace.”


Cute Little Puppy Takes Over as New BP CEO

LONDON, ENGLAND – Faced with a public relations nightmare after an oil rig exploded killing 11 and causing millions of barrels of oil to leak into the Gulf of Mexico, BP has replaced its CEO with Buttons, a Black Labrador puppy.

The move comes only weeks after former CEO Tony Hayward stepped down following the Gulf of Mexico disaster. Hayward was replaced by Bob Dudley, who in turn has been replaced by Buttons.


White House Readying "Biggest Scandal Ever"

WASHINGTON, DC – The Bush administration is celebrating a major milestone this month with its 1,000th scandal and to celebrate, some of Bush’s advisers are planning a special surprise for the American public.


Local Man Says He “Totally Won’t Watch Pro Sports”

FARGO, ND – After becoming frustrated with the recent NHL lockout, local man Garry Broderick has told his friends and family that he has “given up on those assholes” associated with professional sports.


Monkeys in a Barrel Funniest Thing on Earth

HOBOKEN, NJ – After years of debate, an independent group of researchers has finally put a value system to the world of “fun” and the concept of “funny.” The group, lead by Randolph Bacon, a self proclaimed master of fun, was funded in part by the Nestea Corporation to find out exactly what is the funniest thing on earth.


Howard Dean and Staff Revamp Democratic Primary Strategy

LEBANON, NH – After suffering a string of Primary losses, Democratic Presidential candidate Gov. Howard Dean and his staff are revamping their strategy. Shifting away from an aggressive campaign, Dean and company will rely on tactics used by former, successful Presidential candidates.


Back to Top