Former member of The Watchmen, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, says he created and released the COVID-19 virus in order to unite humanity against a single threat.

Adrian Veidt Admits Plan to Unify Humanity by Releasing COVID-19 has Failed

NEW YORK, NY – Former superhero and the smartest man in the world, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, admitted to engineering and releasing the COVID-19 virus in an effort to bring the people of earth together.


A player for the German Women's Soccer team rests after playing for one minutes.

Olympic Events Changed to Help COVID Affected Athletes

TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.


The Scoop News Summer Movie Preview

HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.


Superman Taking a Break from Humanity

ANTARCTICA – Superman announced last week that he is “taking a break” from humanity and will spend the “foreseeable future” alone at his Fortress of Solitude.


Scientists believe climate change may be caused by a single thermostat set to a very hot temperature.

Global Warming Traced to Florida Grandmother's Thermostat

BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.


Pornhub will soon only feature videos of interracial couples on the popular pornography website.

To Help Fight Racism Pornhub Will Soon Only Offer Interracial Videos on Site

NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.


God Apologizes for High Number of Male Creeps

HEAVEN – In a statement to the human race, god apologized for an error in his creation model that generated a higher percentage of male creeps than god had intended.


Jennifer Lawrence Asks to be Removed from Bucket Lists

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Actress Jennifer Lawrence has asked every male on the planet Earth to remove her name from their individual bucket lists.


Beth Sinclair: This Year’s Hottest Halloween Costumes

LOS ANGELES, CA – Holy freaking guacamole you guys! It has been, like, forever since I was last able to grace your eye holes with my everlasting words of wisdom!


Polls: Your Mom Now Leading Clinton, Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With only a few weeks until the Presidential election, the write-in candidate Your Mom has taken the lead in a series of recent polls.

“People are rejecting the two major party candidates at a rate we’ve never seen and because of that people are looking for other choices,” said former Democratic Party Chairman, Howard Dean. “Someone, who knows who, said that they’d just write ‘Your Mom’ on their ballot and people are really starting to agree with that.”


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