Published August 2021
NEW YORK, NY – Former superhero and the smartest man in the world, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, admitted to engineering and releasing the COVID-19 virus in an effort to bring the people of earth together.
Published August 2021
TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.
Published June 2021
HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.
Published March 2021
ANTARCTICA – Superman announced last week that he is “taking a break” from humanity and will spend the “foreseeable future” alone at his Fortress of Solitude.
Published April 2021
BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.
Published December 2020
NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.
Published December 2017
HEAVEN – In a statement to the human race, god apologized for an error in his creation model that generated a higher percentage of male creeps than god had intended.
Published June 2017
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Actress Jennifer Lawrence has asked every male on the planet Earth to remove her name from their individual bucket lists.
Published September 2016
LOS ANGELES, CA – Holy freaking guacamole you guys! It has been, like, forever since I was last able to grace your eye holes with my everlasting words of wisdom!
Published October 2016
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With only a few weeks until the Presidential election, the write-in candidate Your Mom has taken the lead in a series of recent polls.
“People are rejecting the two major party candidates at a rate we’ve never seen and because of that people are looking for other choices,” said former Democratic Party Chairman, Howard Dean. “Someone, who knows who, said that they’d just write ‘Your Mom’ on their ballot and people are really starting to agree with that.”