Local Man Already Regretting His Twitter Username

FREDERICK, MD – Last month Treddle signed up for Twitter with the username FuckRogers6969696 and came to regret the decision almost immediately.

Local Couple Regrets Kiss-Kam Performance

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – Shortly after their kiss-kam performance on the AT&T Bricktown Ballpark Jumbotron, local couple Leon Trendle and Sarah Jo Neller felt regret.

Kubric Comes Back From Death to Re-do Death

GLASGOW, ENGLAND – In a demonstration of his intolerance for imperfection, renowned director Stanley Kubrick returned from the grave this week to “re-do the pile of dog shit that passed for my death scene.”

Co-ed Unsure If She Needs To Apologize After Party

ATLANTA, GA – A college co-ed isn’t sure, but she thinks she regrets most of the events that occurred during her New Year’s Eve party.

Constant "Hitting" May Cause Brain Damage

FLAGSTAFF, ARIZ. – A new study just released from Northern Arizona University reveals that repeatedly hitting oneself on the head with a heavy, solid object may in fact be harmful to ones health.

God Unhappy with Human Beings

AUSTIN, TX – In a surprise address to the Austin Texas Hog Farmers Association, God the Almighty appeared in front of human eyes for the first time in centuries, and condemned the human race for what he described as “the relentless overpopulation and blatant destruction of thy most beautiful creation, the Earth.”

Local Woman Regreting Decision to Buy New Puppy

DURANGO, CO – Less than three months after buying a Black Labrador Retriever puppy, local woman Gail Freiberg, has expressed dissatisfaction with both the puppy and the decision to adopt the puppy.

Man Regrets Masturbating to Olympic Event

Local man Reuben Accote is said to be very confused after masturbating to an Olympic Fencing match.

Experts Offer Ten Ideas for the Perfect Valentine’s Day

DALLAS, TX – The Valentine’s Day holiday can cause panic and anxiety for those looking for something original, exciting and romantic to do with their loved one.

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