Republicans Condemn 4th Grader’s Science Project

WASHINGTON, DC – Republican members of congress have condemned a science project from 4th grader Jakob Bistrup that hypothesizes too much heat and not enough water can kill plants.


God Clarifies Involvement in Accidents and Recoveries

RAPID CITY, SD – During a press conference at the Ramada Inn and Suites, God clarified some misconceptions about his involvement in recent accidents and recoveries.


EPA: Renewable Energy Causes 104,412 Illnesses

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Environmental Protection Agency has released a new study that concludes renewable energy, specifically solar and wind generated power, can cause up to 104,412 illnesses.

“(The EPA) just published a ground breaking report that clearly shows that the renewable energy that the Democrats have been pushing on us for so long is actually the cause of almost every illness that’s out there,” said EPA spokesman Frank Servees.


Kansas Schools Drop Math, Science

LAWRENCE, KS – Kansas State Education officials again shocked the education world this week by announcing that it will remove all Math, Science and Social studies related materials from its classrooms due to both moral and funding reasons.


Comedian Offers Plan To Stop Global Warming

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With Global Warming becoming the hot topic among television and radio talk show hosts, celebrities have begun using their massive political influence and scientific expertise to help protect and revive aspects of the environment.


Mother Nature Sued To Stop High Temperatures

PHOENIX, AZ – With the recent rash of deaths of homeless and infirm peoples due to heat throughout the Southwest, some people are taking to the streets and demanding that Mother Nature end the heat wave.


Church Marquee Causes Mass Confusion Among Members

CANTON, TX – A marquee outside the Christ Church of Canton has caused confusion among much of the church’s parishioners.


Slumdog Millionaire Makes White People Thankful They're White

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With the worldwide success of the movie Slumdog Millionaire, old white people all over America are being reminded how lucky it is that they are white.


Study: Seasonal Depression Linked To Crappy Gifts

DOVER, MA – According to a recent study in the Journal of Scientific Theory, there is direct correlation between winter Seasonal Depression and bad Holiday presents. The study, a joint venture between Brown University and the American Center for Clinical Depression, was held over a five year period and involved interviewing over 7,500 people who said they became depressed or showed signs of depression during the holiday season.


Recent Snow Falls Proves Global Warming Doesn’t Exist

OLSO, NORWAY – An international team of scientist have finally put to rest any debate about global warming saying that recent snow showers across the globe prove that that the earth is not getting warmer.


Back to Top