A fight erupted between cardboard cutouts of fans when one cutout accidentally fell on to another.

Cardboard Cutouts Start Fight at Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.


This year's Super Bowl Halftime show will feature white people wandering around the field doing whatever they want to do.

Super Bowl Halftime Event to Feature White People Doing Whatever They Want

TAMPA, FL – The National Football League (NFL) announced the theme for this year’s Super Bowl halftime show will be “America” and will feature a large number of white people wandering around “doing whatever they want to do.”


President Trump stands outside a White House entrance, unable to enter due to the stick he carries being longer than the width of the doorway.

Frustrated Trump Unable to Bring Long Stick into White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been stuck outside the White House for several hours as he tries to enter the building carrying a long stick.


Netflix users across the country lost access to the site after a Michigan grandmother changed her password.

700,00 Netflix Users Locked Out after Grandma Changes Password

PORTLAND, OR – Netflix users suffered a major blackout after a grandmother in Michigan changed her password, locking over 720,000 people out of Netflix.


Authorities in Florida are trying to determine how a ferret was able to purchase 23 gallons of chocolate milk.

Authorities Investigating Why Ferret Bought 23 Gallons of Chocolate Milk

ORLANDO, FL – Both police and animal control officers are looking in to a recent report that a ferret has purchased over 23 gallons of chocolate milk from a local grocery store.


State Department Asked to Find Nigerian Prince Who Emailed Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump asked the State Department to reach out to a Nigerian prince who had emailed and promised to send Trump several thousand dollars.


White House Staff Reveal New Year's Resolutions

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Like many other Americans, President Trump and his staff have made New Year’s resolutions.


Trump recently spent over an hour standing and waiving in front of a manual paper towel dispenser thinking it would automatically dispense a paper towel.

Trump Confused by Paper Towel Dispenser

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump spent almost an hour and a half standing in front of a manual paper towel dispenser, waiting for the paper towels to come out automatically.
“Apparently Trump, who let’s face it, is a dumb, dumb man, hasn’t used a manual paper towel dispenser before and was really confused,” said White House custodian Jade Olivera. “He thought it was one of those machines where you wave your hand near it and it spits out a paper towel. At least we know he washed his hands.”

Beginning this month the NSA will offer aura scans and readings for airport visitors.

NSA to Offer Aura Scans, Readings at Nation’s Airports

WASHINGTON, DC – Airline passengers traveling this holiday season will soon get a little extra from their trip through security as the National Security Agency will soon be offering aura scans.


Inventor Thomas Dollbe has realized the world is not ready for his invention; Poop powered cars.

Inventor Realizes World Not Ready For Poop Powered Cars

ST. PAUL, MN – Shortly after presenting his newest invention Thomas Dollbe had to come to terms with the realization that the world may not be ready for cars powered by human feces.


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