Beth Sinclair: COVID-19 Thanksgiving Tips

Hello, hello, HELLOOOOOOOO! Oh. My. GOD. It has been forever! It is I, your bestest friend in all of the deep, dark web – Beth Sinclair!


American’s Postpone Flu Shots as Excuse to Miss Thanksgiving

ATLANTA, GA – A large number of people are waiting to get a flu shot until after the Thanksgiving holiday in hopes that they will have an excuse to miss Thanksgiving dinner with their family.


U.S. Government Hosting Extensive Black Friday Sale

WASHINGTON, DC – The United States Government has announced a Black Friday sale where parts of the government will be available for purchase at sharply reduced prices.


Grandma Still Perfecting Thanksgiving Facebook Post

SCHAUMBURG, IL – Local grandmother has been sitting at her computer for several hours trying to generate a Thanksgiving inspired Facebook post.


Families Agree to Ignore Last Six Months This Holiday

WASHINGTON, DC – American families have unanimously agreed to ignore the last couple months and just enjoy a quiet thanksgiving dinner.


Mother Nature Extends Summer by Three Months

AUSTIN, TX – Summer will be extended three months and Winter will be phased out over the next couple years according to a recent announcement from Mother Nature.


Woman Begins Mentally Preparing for Thanksgiving

COLUMBUS, OH – Local woman Rachel Connors will spend the next several weeks mentally preparing herself for Thanksgiving dinner with her family.


Grandmother Just Wants One Normal Thanksgiving

CINCINNATI, OH – Local grandmother has told her family that she just wants a normal Thanksgiving Dinner this year without any “craziness.”


Coworkers Find Office Decorations “Over the Top”

NEWARK, DE – Several employees of CPTB Industries have described the Christmas decorations in a co-workers cubicle as “a little over the top.”


In Face of Shortage, FDA Offers Turkey Alternatives

ATLANTA, GA – In the wake of a national shortage of turkeys, the FDA in conjunction with the American Farmers Association has released a list of turkey alternatives for the upcoming holiday season.


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