
Newspaper's 900th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype
Published May 2022PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 900th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper

Local Man Didn't Run Dishwasher Like He Was Supposed To
Published April 2022HENDERSON, NV – Local Man, Gavin Crusher, forgot to run the dishwasher probably because of a Pokémon videogame.

FDA Adds New “Fewd” Category for Taco Bell Menu Items
Published April 2022WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.

Lifting Mask Mandates Makes It Difficult to Identify Jerks
Published March 2022DENVER, CO – As mask mandates across the country are lifted, many Americans are finding it more difficult to identify jerks.

God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years
Published March 2022HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable
Published April 2022AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.
Local Man Reveals He Is A Russian Foreign Policy Expert
Published March 2022BOULDER, CO – Local man, Matt Crellio, has revealed to coworkers that in addition to being an expert in virology he is also an expert in foreign policy with specific focus on Russia.

New Swiffer Lets People Clean Using Their Pets
Published February 2022CINCINNATI, OH – Procter & Gamble has released a new version of the Swiffer Sweeper that attaches to small animals and will allow customers to use their pets to clean floors.

Brooks Brothers Releases New Work From Home Line
Published February 2022NEW YORK, NY – Brooks Brothers has unveiled a new line of clothes designed for men who work from home but still want to present themselves as professional on video conference calls.
