Trump Hiding from Staff in White House

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.


Trump Refuses to Come Out of Bunker After Seeing Ghost

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to multiple sources within the White House, President Trump has been hiding in a bunker since Halloween after he reported seeing “a ghost.”


White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden

LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.


Frustrated Trump Unable to Bring Long Stick into White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been stuck outside the White House for several hours as he tries to enter the building carrying a long stick.


Cleaning Crew Called to Clear Trump’s Boogers from Desk

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.


Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.


Trump Names Intern Who Helped Remove Computer Virus Head of CDC

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has installed a new head of his COVID task force – a White House Intern that helped remove a computer virus from the President’s laptop.


White House Staffer Fired for Telling Trump to Stop Licking Window

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staffer has been fired for suggesting President Donald Trump stop licking and “doing blowfishes” on the White House windows.


Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.


Trump Wearing Home-made Toilet Paper Sash, Crown

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.


Back to Top