World Comes Together To Help U.S. Through Blackout

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NEW YORK CITY, NY – The nations of Earth came together last month as several cities in the United States of America and Canada suffered a crippling blackout which lasted nearly two days. Relief packages were dropped by the Rwanda National Air Force in New York City, Cleveland, Detroit and Toronto.

In addition to relief packages (containing food, clothing and books), pamphlets on how to communicate without cell phones, matches and cartoon flip books were from dropped into the cities by plane.

“We received an unbelievable amount of support and food for the people of the U.S.,” said Red-Cross organizer Judy Zaine. “The world really came together today to help some needy people out. To think that there were people who could not watch ‘Seinfield’ re-runs for a night is just something I… I really wouldn’t want to face myself. I can’t believe as many people made it through the whole ordeal as actually did. Two days… damn that’s a long time to be without a phone.”

Out of all the countries that contributed, most of the relief came from the African nation of Ethiopia. Over two month’s worth of food for one million people was gathered and put on plane to be dropped in Cleveland.

“We gave up our rice for the month to help those in the U.S.,” said Ethiopian father of 12, Zanndar Swqall. “I figure my family can go without for a little while. Besides, we’re just kinda use to it. It just tears at my heart to think that there were people in the U.S. city of Cleveland that could not go to McDonald’s for a couple days. How did they survive? The people in the U.S. don’t have the luxury of having nothing like we Ethiopians do. They aren’t use to it. To us… if we ever get power, if we lost it, it wouldn’t be such a big deal but for them… I cry.”

Aid was even gathered in the worn torn country of Iraq where hundreds of thousands turned out at a Red-Cross station to offer everything from clothes, to gas powered generators, to children.

“Those poor Americans. We feel so horrible for them,” said Abdul Siad-Butak. “We heard about the blackout from a friend who said they had a friend who heard it from one of the soldiers who was killing his wife. When I told my family, the first thing out of my sons mouth was ‘Daddy, can we do anything to stop their pain?’ It was such a beautiful gesture that I hugged him right then. Of course he was killed the next day because he was carrying a stick that a British soldier thought was a gun. But you know, that’s part of life and we deal with it. Being without power, like us, is not part of life… at least for Americans.”

Some Americans we touched by the generosity of those who offered aid, however most were too troubled and distracted to notice.

“I was walking down 12th Street there and some fuckin’ box hit me in the head. I thought it was the guy behind me so I started back to whip his ass but then I saw the parachute,” said New Yorker Benny Delp. “I stood there sayin’ to my self ‘what the fuck is this shit all about?’ and I opened the package. It was just some fuckin’ rice so I left it there. I don’t know why the hell anyone would drop rice from the sky in little parachutes… this isn’t China for cryin’ out loud.”

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