Bush Releases Video To Prove Time Spent In National Guard

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During his service in the National Guard, President George W. Bush posed for a picture with then girlfriend Kelly McGillis.
During his service in the National Guard, President George W. Bush posed for a picture with then girlfriend Kelly McGillis.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Amidst controversy over his National Guard service record, President George W. Bush released a documentary which he says will “provide no shadow of doubt as to the dedication to his war time station.”

The documentary, which follows Bush through the first year of an elite US Flying school for advanced fighter pilots, was shown to congress last week and will be shown to select members of the media later this week.

One Republican senator recalled the details of the documentary to reporters shortly after seeing the film.

“You know, after watching that I really do think I’ve seen that before.” said Colorado Senator Wayne A. Allard. “It’s weird though in that I guess we all forgot that (Bush) dated Kelly McGillis. Damn that was one fine chick back in the 80’s. And I tell you what. I don’t think there is an American alive that wouldn’t vote for Bush again after seeing how he had to deal with Goose’s death.”

Through the film, Bush faces many challenges including the loss of a close friend, high expectations, tough competition and picking up female officers at a bar. One particularly moving scene reportedly shows Bush facing his fears and emotions as the memory of his lost-in-battle father challenges him to push through the grief and complete a difficult cat-fight simulation.

While many seem satisfied, some democrats have challenged the legitimacy of the film and several even go as far as to say The White House doctored the documentary.

“Jesus, come on! It’s Top Gun for crying out loud!” said Evan Bayh, Democratic Senator from Indiana. “And it isn’t even a good fake, someone did a horrible job inserting Bush into the film – right on top of Tom Cruise. It couldn’t be more obvious. In fact, even looking at the time period of the film, Bush would have been in his thirties at the time of the movie but in the movie he looks just like he does today. I mean, I know the American public is generally stupid but if they don’t see past this I’ll… move to Canada… after my term is up of course. And after my kids graduate from college.”

Bush himself remains reserved on film and his flight school history. Addressing the media about the documentary Bush called the years he spent at fight pilot school “good times and a great chance to help my country.”

“I remember those days like they were yesterday. Racing my motorcycle up and down runways, cruising close to the control tower,” Bush said. “That’s what I remember most. And did you see how I handled Iceman? Just like I did Saddam Hussein. Even then I had what it took to be a great president. I just wish Goose was here to see me now. And my dad. He would be proud too.”

The video has stirred up interest in the President, which advisers say is a good thing.

“When you get the public on your side, you can do anything,” said Robert Bruce, a Bush adviser. “Hell, the public got him elected. And who cares if it’s not really him, even though it is. It looks like him, right? It sounds like him, right? If I were to squeeze the shit out of a duck to make it quack, would you still question the authenticity of the duck? I think not.”

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