Local Woman Regreting Decision to Buy New Puppy

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DURANGO, CO – Less than three months after buying a Black Labrador Retriever puppy, local woman Gail Freiberg, has expressed dissatisfaction with both the puppy and the decision to adopt the puppy.

The dog, named Dakota by Freiberg, was adopted from the local Humane Society.

“I guess… I don’t know. I just thought it would be more rewarding to own a dog,” Freiberg said. “I didn’t know that dogs shit everywhere and are always wanting attention. He’s cute but, I just want to give him like three minutes a day and then do my own thing. He did get me a phone number at the dog park though. But it turned out the guy is into his dogs. I mean REALLY into his dogs. I’m talking bestiality. That’s not why I got the dog but whatever, he can do his own thing.”

At the time of the adoption, Freiberg had told friends and family that she “had always wanted a dog” and that the decision was in no way a reflection of or reaction to her recently ended relationship.

“We all expressed doubts as to the true motive of Gail getting a puppy,” said Freiberg’s best friend, Stepi Waills. “What, like a month after Ryan left her she all of a sudden wants a puppy? She’s never had a dog in her life. In fact, I think she doesn’t even like dogs. I think she jus wanted some one to come home too that wouldn’t sleep with her friends and take money out of her purse to buy pot. Fuckin’ men.”

According to Freiberg, the decision to buy the puppy was a spur of the moment choice.

“I know what everyone think and I didn’t buy… um… Dakota! I mean, I didn’t buy Dakota because I’m lonely. I bought him because he was cute. Ryan was an asshole and I wouldn’t do anything just because he left me for that slutty Chili’s waitress. Fuck Ryan. He can’t tell me how to live my life anymore. I’m a free woman. A free woman that bought a dog and probably shouldn’t have,” said Freiberg.

Freiberg estimates that Dakota has already caused in excess of $1,000 worth of cleaning bills and damage to clothing and shoes.

“God damn… I mean, what the hell does the little thing have against my shoes?” said Freiberg. “I had to go by one of those puppy gate things and put it outside my closet so he wouldn’t get in there and shit in my shoes. Have you ever put your foot in a shoe that has shit in it? It’s not fun. Sure it may be warm, but it’s not fun. Then there was all those shots that he had to get and then the whole neutering thing. That was expensive. If I would have known it would be that much I would have just let him keep his… stuff.”

After consulting with other family, friends and other dog owners, Freiberg has committed to another week with the puppy before either selling it or taking it to the pound.

“I guess I’ll give it a couple more days. I mean, he is cute but I just think it’s a little to much for me with all the things I have going on right now. But like I said, we’ll see,” Freiberg said.


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