FLAGSTAFF, AZ – Online dating services can be a great way for the hopeless to find love. But how about an online video game? Flagstaff man Ben “Corky” Mandrake, a player of the popular online role-playing game Dungeons of Fantasy, became the first player in the game’s history to actually marry another player – within the game.
“Well, it was actually my character who got married, not me,” said Mandrake. “I mean, it’s not like I’m the level 27 Warlock Tailor with keen knitting ability. That’s just silly. I can tell the difference between reality and video games. The real me doesn’t even know how to knit. But one thing I do know… I know I love my wife. Shelia The Timid. She is beautiful and smart and sweet and waits for me online. We are even talking about starting a family soon. Virtually of course.”
While members of his family believe it is just a case of two losers finding solace in each other, Mandrake said it was his character’s unique ability that won his bride over. When recalling the pairs first meeting, Mandrake became misty eyed.
“I was gathering thread to make handbags with, and I saw her – a level 23 Wood Elf, wearing a green +5 Dress of Sleep Resistance. She was hunting an orc-sheep for food. I almost cried when I saw her, she was so beautiful. So I made her a +1 Jeweled Purse of Lesser Burdening, and I said to her ‘hey :0’. Then she said ‘hi :).’ Well, we didn’t actually say it, we typed it. But it was love at first emoticon. We started looking for each other on line and that’s when I began the courting process. After 12 standard nights went by, I asked for her hand in marriage. Of course she couldn’t resist. Who could?”
According to Mandrake, marriage in Dungeons of Fantasy isn’t that much different from “real” life – thanks to special patches from the game developer. The patches, which Mandrake had pushed for since he started to play the game, add extra commands within the game that allow him to play in ways that “unmarried” players can’t.
“Whenever Shelia The Timid and I want to be passionate, I can just execute the /kiss command. As the night progresses, I can also use the /sweetnothings command to woo her,” said Mandrake. “The other night we were getting really hot ‘n heavy and I used the /grope command too many times in a row and Shelia The Timid hit me with a /slaphard, but we made up soon after. That’s just the way she is. She likes to bang but you know how women are, especially elvish women… it’s always on their schedule.”
Although online married life continues to be blissful for Mandrake, his only real life friend remains skeptical.
“First off, let me just say that what Corky did was some fucking dork-ass bullshit,” commented best friend Virgil Pepper. “As if that Dungeons of Fag-a-sy game wasn’t lame enough, he had to go and (get married). Secondly, he goes around talking about it. If you were that big of a dork, who got ‘married’ in a virtual world, would you brag about it? I wouldn’t. I’m not even getting into the abnormal side of it all. I asked him, ‘What if it was really a dude on the other side of that chick?’ and he was like ‘What?’ and I told him that the chick might actually not be a chick, but he was hopeless. He said he was in love, and some bullshit like ‘love means never having to wonder if your on-line fantasy wife is actually a dude’. So yeah, I told him to find a new best friend.”
Although his marriage to Shelia The Timid is only recognized online and through the game software, Mandrake maintains that he has at least found a new best friend – if not soulmate.
“We’ll be together, online, forever. I know that I love her and that she loves me. Despite what anyone else thinks. Some day we may even get married in real life. That would be super sweet,” said Mandrake.
Shelia The Timid was unavailable at press time despite several messages left with her Dungeons of Fantasy account creator Rick Snow.