CHICAGO, IL – Despite the gloomy forecast for this year’s holiday spending, Consumer Reports has unveiled its list of the eight hottest toys that are flying off shelves all over the country. The increased toy sales is expected to help kick start the economy, making this a fruitful season for everyone in the retail industry.
Consumer reports listed the following toys that every child in the country will be clamoring for even though they don’t deserve them.
Baby dolls are nothing new to the toy world however Jasper Industries brings a new twist to the old dolls. Banking on the combination of two consumer favorites, Baby-go-Boom will at the same time be a cute baby doll and firecracker. Possessing the equivalent explosive strength of a quarter stick of dynamite, Baby-go-Boom is sure to light up the faces of children across the country.
In the Seventies, The Invisible Man helped hundreds of future doctors learn human anatomy and biology through a unique see through model. The makers of Anatomical Andy hope to accomplish similar things through a very realistic full scale model of Andy Dick. Instead of working from the inside out, Anatomical Andy will allow children of all ages to explore the skin, hair and appendages from the outside. Touch sensitive pads located throughout the model let children know what the individual body parts are and how it feels to be touched there.
This multi-use toy will help children develop their sense of discovery and imagination. One metal fork-shaped tool comes in each package with a booklet of “what ifs.” According to the manufacture’s webpage, no child will be able to resist poking things with Forky. A hefty price tag comes with this toy but that will certainly be overlooked as every kid on the planet will want to get their hands on Forky and see what happens if it gets stuck in an electrical socket.
The Fucking Book
Kids are never too young to learn good English skills and usage. That’s why child psychologist Chloe Weistener wrote the newest child rearing book “The Fucking Book.” This book will let parents and children walk trough simple sentences designed to increase the children’s profanity and proper usage. According to Dr. Weistener “it’s never too early to start using ‘shit’ and ‘cumsucker’ in every day conversation.”
Escape from New Orleans video game
In this game players try to escape New Orleans before Huricane Katrina floods the city with water and tears down the city with high speed winds. Filled with crazy challenges like “Get out of the Super Dome before you are raped or killed” and “Take the last bottle of water from an elderly lady,” the game promises hours upon hours of fun and enjoyment.
50 Cent’s 9mm playset
Hot on the tails of his movie “Get Rich or Die Trying,” the 50 Cent marketing machine takes aim at all the little “gangstas” out there. The playset comes with a real 9mm handgun and 3 bullets to recreate the feel of living in Fifty’s shoes. The set also includes a pamphlet with tips on how to hide the gun from friends and family and the proper way to hold the gun during an altercation with a fellow gangster.
My First Branding Iron
Another educational toy, My First Branding Iron teaches children the important lesson about what happens when heat meets flesh. This foot-long branding iron comes with an assortment of brands. A heating coil is also included so children don’t have to find a hot fire to warm up the iron.
SpiderMan action figures
SpiderMan toys have always been popular, and this year is no different. Though the Spider Clone figure is reportedly a top seller among the figures, all figures in the line will make great gifts for SpiderMan fans.
All these toys and more are currently for sale nationwide in a variety of retailers.