CINCINNATI, OH – The recent wave of cartoon provoked violence has reached the United States as cartoonist Tom Wilson, the cartoonist responsible for the Ziggy cartoon, was rushed to a hospital for injuries received in an apparent attack. A group calling themselves People Against Shitty-ass Cartoons That Suck, or PASCTS, have claimed responsibility for the attack.
Witnesses report Wilson was mowing his lawn when a blue van pulled to his house. The occupants of the van jumped out and pelted Wilson with water balloons filled with urine. The assailants then proceeded to beat Wilson with what were described as “large, stick like objects, possibly baseball bat, or maybe even cricket bats.”
Aside from the recent attack, earlier this week protesters surrounded the offices of a Cincinnati newspaper that publishes the Ziggy cartoon. The protesters held signs demanding the cartoon be pulled and an apology given for publishing the cartoon.
According to a statement from the group delivered to the Scoop News office, PASCTS will not stop their protests and attacks on cartoonists and their publishers until the cartoonists “stop with all the shitty-ass cartoons.”
“These cartoons are offensive to every human being. Long has the world put up with sub par cartoons being passed off as good entertainment,” the statement claimed. “Ziggy. Family Circus. Cathy. All of these, and these are not the only ones, are shity-ass cartoons. A person who only eats shit, then shits out the shit that they’ve eaten as a new, more potent shit, is not nearly as detrimental to the American culture as these cartoons. When was the last time that you actually laughed at Family Circus? That’s right, you haven’t.”
The letter goes on to announce that the attack on Wilson will not be the end of the cartoon prompted violence. In all, 23 cartoonists were threatened with physical violence for producing “the worst, most intellectually offending material known to man.”
“Take our word, Mr. Wilson will not be that last,” the letter stated. “We will not stop till these ‘artists/writers’ stop it. And yes, we meant to put that in quotations. We don’t consider these people to be artists or writers. We do consider these people to be banes on American culture and intelligence. These people will go down, and their abominations will as well.”
While some of the named artists have taken this threat very seriously, some feel that the group is all talk.
“Oh come on, everyone wanted to kick (Wilson’s) ass,” said Family Circus creator Bill Keane. “The guy was a prick. This one time, he asked me if I would video tape him banging his wife. Sure I was interested, but that’s just not something that you ask one of the nations foremost Christian cartoonists. Of course I did it, but then the prick wanted to charge me to keep a copy. Prick. Any group that throws balloons filled with piss at a guy like that is OK by me. And Family Circus isn’t nearly as dumb as Ziggy.”
At press time no other attacks on cartoonists had been reported.