SEATTLE, WA – In hopes of capitalizing on a large population of homosexuals living in the Seattle area, local entrepreneur, Terri Jillette, is opening the countries first Gay Care facility.
The Gay Care center, named The Gaynasium, will allow working homosexuals a safe, friendly place to drop off their partners during the work day.
“There are a lot of professional gays out there that spend most of their day at work worrying about their partners,” said Jillette. “What we offer is a warm, friendly place, full of other gays. A place where someone can come and drop their partner off and know that everything will be ok.”
Jillette got the idea for the Gay Care center after her own struggles with a partner.
“I love gays and I always will. It’s that love that led me to start this place,” said Jillette. “Every day that I went into work, I worried that my partner Wanda would sleep with every pair of tits that happened to walk by. And she did, that dirty little tramp… then she got drunk and set herself and my house on fire. But then this idea came to me. I know that not everyone needs a place like this but I want there to be a place if people need it. I lost a partner once because there was nothing like this and now I can rest knowing it will never happen again.”
Although the facility is still a couple weeks away from opening its doors, a waiting list has already been established.
“The response is great,” said Jillette. “I guess people are just tired of getting phone calls from their neighbors saying that their gay got out of the yard or worse yet, that their gay burned down the house because they were trying to redecorate the house but didn’t realize the danger of electricity.”
The time spent at the Gaynasium will be full of activities and each gay is feed and put down for a nap in the afternoon.
“From the moment the gay gets here, we will find things to keep them busy,” Jillette said. “We’ll have a fun time, where the gays can all play together, frolicking in the yard. Then we’ll have obedience classes where the gays will learn what is appropriate and what isn’t. Dressing classes, shopping classes, classes on how to pass for straight while traveling on the South, you know, we just have so many opportunities that we can explore.”
While many people in the surrounding area are looking forward to the opening of The Gaynasium, some local residents are wary of the new business.
“I don’t like it, nope, I don’t like it one bit,” said Seattle resident Otis Baum. “Now don’t get me wrong, I like gays as much as the next guy, but when you get that many of the little buggers in the same place, it will only end badly. You ever seen when they have sales on men’s Capri pants at Sears? It’s like a damn cock fight, and I don’t mean that in a good way.”