ATLANTA, GA – In what many are calling “a gathering of the greatest minds of today,” several well known rappers have been gathered in hopes of establishing a new vocabulary, and more importantly a new set of slang.
Insiders within the hip-hop community have been calling for a meeting like this since the last round of slang was adopted by suburban white people.
“It’s been a pretty rough couple of months with regard to our culture and more specifically our language,” said rapper Andre Young, better known as Dr. Dre. “I was walking through a mall and I heard a soccer mom telling her kid to finish his ‘Crunk Juice.’ It damn near made me cry. We work hard to come up with our own language. And to see it perverted like that is just sickening. Of course, it’s kinda our fault. Actually, it’s Ice Cube’s fault. We’ve been a little lazy on the whole issue. We gave white people way too much time to figure out what we were talking about.”
During the last slang summit in 2000, several words were created by the group including “Bling” “Skeet” and “Chicken Head.” The gathering in 2000 also created the infamous “izzle” language adopted by rapper Snoop Dogg.
“The last summit produced some really good stuff, but we all just got too busy to keep the flow of ideas open and constant,” Dogg said. “I mean, we just gizzot too bizzy. Is that right? Hell, I don’t even remember anymore. Do you know how hard it is to talk like that all the time? It’s rough I tell you. Of course all the pot doesn’t really help. Or does it help? Shit, I don’t know anything anymore, but that’s beside the point. You know it’s really disheartening when I came up with the concept of the language and there are 12-year-old white kids that can do it better than me. That, simply, is not right.”
The attendees at this years meeting included 50 Cent, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Kool Keith, The RZA and The GZA from the Wu-Tang Clan and Mike D from the Beastie Boys. Several other prominent rappers have come and gone from the meeting to add their opinions.
“I think that a lot of good will come out of this meeting,” Mike D said. “But as good as it is, I feel like an outsider here. I mean, I’ve sold records just as well as anyone here, but it seems to me that I’m more of a litmus test for the new slang. If the words confuse me, then they are approved. If I pick up the meaning pretty quickly, the word is discarded. It’s kinda messed up, but I’m glad to be helping any way I can.”
While the group gathered, few were willing to blame anyone for the quick dissemination of the rap language into suburban circles but those that did, blame a single man – Ice Cube.
“We may not all want to say it, but we know who is the cause for all this trouble,” said The RZA. “I like Ice Cube. I like the man a lot and I respect him endlessly. But none of this, none of this wide spread adoption of my language, would be happening if it wasn’t for Ice Cube. Him becoming a star outside the realm of Rap and Hip Hop has made my language accessible to a wider audience. It all started with ‘Friday’ and moved right into ‘Are We There Yet.’”
After a new vocabulary is finalized by the group at large, core members will reconvene to determine a path forward to keep the new words from reaching soccer moms.
“We’ll all get back together in this room on a couple month’s and figure out a new plan to keep Jane Doe from knowing what ‘blump’ means,” said Dogg. “We’ll also put together a team to identify those who can have access to the new material. Unfortunately, we’ll have to keep this… these words from people who in the past have had access to them. I’m sorry O’Shea, but it’s just come to this.”
According to some inside sources, the group already has a list of over 100 new words, with more being added each day.