LAS VEGAS, NV – Resort developer Steve Wynn is planning a new feature to add to his Wynn Las Vegas Resort and Country Club that he is describing as “the first of its kind.” The feature, currently dubbed “The Spankdome,” will be a giant coliseum where entrants will be allowed to masturbate freely anywhere in the building.
“When I was thinking about expansion, naturally I wanted something that you couldn’t get anywhere else,” Wynn said. “Now while I was thinking about what to do, I was rubbing one out. That’s when it hit me, like a shot to the face. I could create a place where people are free to masturbate in public, and do the things that come naturally. Come on, even in Vegas with the hot women and hookers, people are still going to need a little self gratification – especially when they aren’t able to get the attention of the attractive women and can’t afford the good looking hookers. We will give people a venue where they don’t have to be self conscious about masturbating, because everyone else in the room will be masturbating as furiously as they are.”
The Spankdome will feature a single, open room with a number of couches, chairs and beds. Over 10,000 televisions will be set up displaying various erotic scenes and towel attendants will hand out towels.
Although it is only in the design phase, the Spankdome is changing the face of the Las Vegas Strip as other developers are rushing to build competitive ideas.
“This idea is just so out there, that we had to steal it,” said real estate magnate Donald Trump. “But where (Wynn) will fail I will succeed. See, I’m going to everything bigger and flashier than (Wynn) could even dream of. Get this. I’m going to have solid gold posts in the floor that people can sit on to help get themselves off. Chicks, dudes, whatever. Solid gold. Have you ever had a solid gold phallus in your anus? I can tell you it’s nothing short of magical.”
The Spankdome is being designed with both women and men in mind.
“Everything in Vegas is geared to young men and young women,” said Wynn. “By showing films that are both erotic to men and women, and offering toys that work for both men and women, we’ll make sure that every person is self-satisfied. We don’t want to exclude anyone from this. Except poor people. Poor people will have to masturbate in the streets, like they do now.”
While the opening of the Spankdome comes with a certain amount of risk, Wynn is confident that travelers will flock to the facility.
“We want everyone to come in here, no pun intended, and feel free to do whatever it takes to make them come again, pun intended,” Wynn said. “A lot of people have come to me and said ‘Steve, you’re crazy. No one is going to travel just to masturbate. That’s what taxi’s are for.’ Those people are right to a certain extent. But if I learned anything from my high school football playing days, it’s that jerking off is so much more exciting when there are other people around. That’s why people will come to the Spankdome. That is why men and women will come, just to watch someone else touch themselves while they touch themselves.”
While many people around the world are excited about the possibilities that come with the Spankdome, there have been some very vocal critics.
“This is just a bad, bad idea,” said Tamra Davis, a mother of three from Madison, Wisconsin. “I mean come on, do they really expect people to be happy with plain old masturbation? You know, this will only lead to orgies. This whole concept is a sneaky way provide pubic orgy houses. If you were willing to touch yourself in a room with hundreds of strangers, would you be just as willing to have sex with those hundred strangers? I’m not against the idea of public orgies, I’m just complaining about the name. Call it for what it is people. By the way, when does it open?”
The Spankdome is scheduled to open in August of this year.