LOS ANGELES, CA – An animal rights group has begun protesting outside of Warner Brothers Studios demanding the immediate stop of all animal cruelty in its productions, including the popular Looney Tunes cartoons.
The animal rights organization Freedom For All Animals has called the Looney Tunes cartoon “the most despicable acts of violence ever committed on cute, beautiful, kind animals that we should all be loving instead of killing or letting them kill each other because that’s totally wrong.”
“Have you seen those so called ‘shows?’ They are absolutely disgusting,” said Jennifer Willis, head of the FFAA. “In a single show I witnessed a duck being shot in the face repeatedly, blown up, kicked in the groin and many, many other deplorable things. It made me sick to my stomach. I actually threw up, it was that bad. I mean I sat there thinking ‘who would condone such things,’ but then as if guided by a higher power I got my answer. Warner Brothers. I will not stop my crusade till I’ve rescued all the animals and the violence has ended.”
The Looney Tunes cartoons feature an assortment of animal characters and often feature these animal characters engaged in violent and abusive acts.
“This kind of trash should not be on TV at all, let alone marketed towards little, impressionable children,” Willis said. “I mean, what kind of messages are we sending to our children when we show them that it’s ok to do these things to animals. Is it ok to strap a coyote onto a gigantic rocket while it’s wearing roller skates? If that’s the kind of world we’ve made, I don’t want to live in that world anymore.”
While the cartoons continue to air nationwide, the cartoons have not been produced since 1969.
“We lived in a completely different world back when those cartoons were made, that kind of violence was ok,” said Warner Brothers President Paul Harrison. “But that’s really not the point here. The point is that the FFAA are fucking morons. Protesting a beloved cartoon? Our beloved cartoons? That’s just stupid. Stupid and crazy. I mean look at Tom & Jerry cartoons. They are way more violent that ours. I mean a cat get stripped of all its fur on a regular basis. That’s disgusting. There is nothing disgusting about Loony Tunes except for the fact that Porky Pig never wore pants.”
Although Time Warner executives have pointed out that the cartoons are fictional and do not contain actual animals, the FFAA doesn’t seem to care.
“This isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about what we believe,” Willis said. “We believe that all life is sacred, even that of animated people. Except for bugs. Bugs are gross. And some species of monkey’s, too. The ones with the gigantic red asses that masturbate all the time. I don’t care for those either, so they can go. But all of the cute animals, we need to do everything in our power to make sure they are not harmed in any way.”