Protesters Protest Amount of Bookstore Protest

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FLAGSTAFF, AZ – With the opening of a new Barnes and Noble bookstore, a small group of area residents have come out to protest the amount of people protesting the corporation’s debut in the small mountain community.

A group of 20-25 people, mainly college students, has taken to the streets just outside the store with signs saying “Stop protesting you stupid hippies” and “Go home and shower. Then fuck off and leave Barnes and Noble alone.” The protesters, upset with the constant and never ending protest from the protesters protesting the opening of the store, plan to stay and picket until the “hippies” have left.

“Seriously, there are people still protesting the thing,” said Jared Stevens, a protester. “The (store) has been open for almost three months and those stupid hippie pieces of shit are still out there. Like it’s gonna fuckin’ close! That’s why we’re out here. We’re here to show them filthy fucks that big businesses are good and that we are sick of them protesting every stupid thing they can get their grubby little hands on.”

Members of the original group of protesters don’t quite know what to think of the people protesting them. Already, the number of original protesters has decreased. In fact, several original protesters have now switched sides and are now protesting their former colleagues.

“When I first heard about the store I was so like totally pissed cus I totally love the little bookstores and I don’t want stupid corporations coming in and shutting them all down,” Jessica Barnett said. “But then these guys started protesting us and it kinda opened my eyes a little bit. So now I totally want those guys to shut up and go home. Besides I went in the bookstore and they have some really great stuff, like I totally love their coffee and I just picked up the new issue of High Times which is so totally hard to find here.”

The original protests began shortly after the Flagstaff City Council gave its approval to the Barnes and Noble Corporation, opening the door for the construction of the new store. Within days of the decision, local business supporters came out in force, claiming that the large chain will ultimately “kill” the plethora of smaller, locally owned bookstores in town.

“We’ve got to stop that big corporate… juggernaut that is Barns and Noble and we need to tell them ‘No, you can’t put your stupid store here ‘cus we love the other little, wonderful stores that are already here,’ We as a people need to say ‘No’ to corporations and stay free from their abuse and not let them into our lives. We need to before they start killing our first born children,” stated one of the original protesters, who wished to be referred to by her adopted name, Rainwillow.

Since the city councils decision, the protests have continued. Approximately one year after the ruling to allow the store, protests are still being held and thus the reason for the new string of protests.

No matter what the outcome of the protests may be, one thing is certain: Barns and Noble is “raking it in” in Flagstaff.

“The first week kinda sucked, what with all the protests and all. But hell, since then we’ve been boomin’. Four of them foo foo and fag stores are already closed and another one is on the way out. They are all run by lesbians, you know that right? Yup, we’re doin’ fine. Fine, just fine,” said Mike Fox, manager of Barns and Noble, Flagstaff.

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