Supreme Court to Hear Talking Heads Case

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The Supreme Court of The United States will hear the case that may force Talking Heads to reunite.
The Supreme Court of The United States will hear the case that may force Talking Heads to reunite.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Supreme Court is all set to wrap up their judicial year with what many are calling “the case of the century” – Frantz v. Byrne.

The case was brought to the Supreme Course by former Talking Heads drummer Chris Frantz who is suing former Talking Heads lead singer David Byrne. The intent of the suit is to force Byrne to reform Talking Heads so that Frantz, and other former members of the band can “get paid.”

“Look at me, I’m a freaking DJ on a crappy radio station in Connecticut,” Frantz said. “Don’t get me wrong, I like my job and all, but I can tell you, it doesn’t pay like being a rockstar paid. I need that money. I want to buy a boat. And a Corvette. And all I need is for (Byrne) to throw us a bone and schedule a few shows. But no, he’s totally being a dick about the whole thing. He looks back on his time in the band as a bad period of his life. Yeah it wasn’t great but we got paid. A lot. I miss that.”

The case has worked its way through the court system with each presiding judge stating that no legal authority existed to force Byrne to reform Talking Heads. Last month the Supreme Court accepted the appeal and will hear the case.

“We’ve suffered some losses in the lower courts but we are pretty confident we can force (Byrne) to put the band back together,” said Frantz’s lawyer, Wilbur Sterein. “A lot of people out there say that it’s (Byrnes) right to not get back together with his former band mates, but they really couldn’t be more wrong. The other members of the Talking Heads really don’t have much talent. Look at (Frantz). He was in the Tom Tom Club. Did you hear that band? They blew. Sure they had that one song, but really, they were a shit band with a lot of marginally talented people. To win this lawsuit, why it would change the face of music forever.”

This is the first time that the Supreme Court has heard a case like this, but they accepted it because they felt that it had larger implications to the country as a whole.

“This isn’t just a case about the Talking Heads, this is a case about all the bands that have broken up and not gotten back together because one member, usually the creative force behind the band, is being an asshole,” said Justice Clarence Thomas. “This is for fans Talking Heads. This is for fans of The Smiths. This is for fans of Oingo Boingo. This is a way for us to tell lead singers and songwriters to get over themselves and give us back our favorite bands.”

Over the past ten years festival promoters have offered to pay each member of Talking Heads more than $1 million each if the band performed at festivals.

“I think we all want $1 million. That’s some serious scratch,” said former Talking Heads bassist, Tina Weymouth. “But no, (Byrne) doesn’t care about the money. He only cares about the ‘music.’ That is total bullshit. Everyone could use a new car, I don’t care if you are a wacky-pseudo-hippy-new-age dude. You can’t walk everywhere David! You’re going to need to drive at some point.”

Byrne has refused to attend any of the court dates. In response to both getting Talking Heads back together and the lawsuit, Byrne has said simply “fuck that shit.”

Comments

what a prick ! So, lets get this right . the lead singer, who writes the songs, creates the image, is definately the main man, owes a living to one of his former work mates that while he was working with him, created a great living for him and when he decides [for whatever reason]he’s had enough, he owes this prick more than he has already given him, who, incidentally, has no more talent than to become a DJ when on his own. Yeah Right !, fuck right off, you twat


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