Local Man Still Listening to Linkin Park for Some Reason

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Jesse Wright is still listening to music made by Linkin Park even though it's 2013.
Jesse Wright is still listening to music made by Linkin Park even though it's 2013.

FARGO, ND — Local man, Jesse Wright, is still listening to music by the band Linkin Park despite the fact that it is the year 2013.

“Yeah, I still listen to Linkin Park all the time,” said Wright.

Wright says he still enjoys all of the band’s music and plans to continue listening to the band’s music for the rest of his life.

“A lot of people have been giving me shit lately but these are just really good albums,” said Wright. “Have you heard Minutes to Midnight? I mean have you really heard that album? It’s fucking amazing. If that album were a chick I wouldn’t fuck it — I would make sweet, sweet love to it. I would be gentle. I wouldn’t try to slip it in its butt or nuthin’.”

Wright began listening to Linkin Park’s music in 2000 and has continued to listen to the band’s music since, even though the rest of the country stopped in 2005.

“Yeah, A Thousand Suns and Living Things aren’t the best albums, but even at their worst, Linkin Park is still better than every single band out there right now,” said Wright. “I might even go as far as to say they are one of the greatest bands in the history of bands. Maybe even better than The Beatles. But I don’t know ‘cus I don’t really listen to The Beatles. (Linkin Park) is definitely better than Papa Roach, though. And Papa Roach is good too.”

Enjoyment of Linkin Park’s music has had a negative effect on Wright’s personal life as he was recently dumped by his girlfriend after she found out he was a fan.

“I dated (Wright) for about a year, and it was only at the end that I found out that he was still listening to Linkin Park,” said Wright’s former girlfriend, Chelsea Wayne. “I like him ok and he was pretty good in bed, but when I found out he was that into (Linkin Park) I just couldn’t do it anymore. I should have figured it out early on, but like a drug addict he hid it really well. Whenever I got into his car, the radio was off. He said that it was because he just wanted to talk, but now I think it was (Linkin Park). But last week, I stopped by to surprise him at home and he was listening Linkin Park on his stereo. On purpose! And he was enjoying it and singing along. It’s 2013! Not 2001! I felt sick. I mean I thought I really knew him. It was all a sham.”

Wright’s friends and family say they are concerned about Wright but have not addressed the Linkin Park issue with him.

“It’s one thing to like a band, but to like a band that no one else likes anymore is very concerning,” said Wright’s mother, Barbara. “At this point, I almost wish he were on drugs. That’s something that I could comprehend. Drugs get you high, they make you feel good. But Linkin Park offers you nothing. But (Wright) he is so into the band it’s scary. That’s all he listens to, and now that Chelsea is gone. It’s scary. I wish he would stop or at least admit that liking Linkin Park just isn’t ok anymore.”

While the band was unavailable for comment, the band’s management company released a statement supporting Wright and his decision to like a band that no one else cares about anymore.

“We support Jesse Wright listening to Linkin Park 100%,” said the statement. “Linkin Park doesn’t have a lot going for them anymore but we still are proud that in 2013 someone can still enjoy the band’s music — unironically.”

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