Teen Commemorating Cobain’s Suicide with Terrible Song

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SEATTLE, WA – Local 17-year-old, Jakob Custors, is commemorating the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide by writing a terrible song.

The song, which Jakob Custors does not intend to be terrible, is terrible and is about what Cobain would be like if he were alive today.

“If (Cobain) was alive today he’d be… like still the same or something,” said Jakob Custors. “(Cobain) would just be telling it like it is and he’d be writing real songs you know? He wouldn’t be writing songs for money or for, like, fame. He’d be taking us out of the dark ages like he did when he was alive. So I wrote this song about Kurt coming back to life and taking over this warehouse full of discarded shirts and how the shirts are a metaphor for America and what Kurt would do is come back and make things better through music.”

Jakob Custors, who was not alive when Cobain was alive, became a fan of Nirvana after borrowing his parent’s CD.

“I’ve been a fan of Nirvana for a long time. Probably since I was 15,” said Jakob Custors. “And I know how he felt. Like how people only care about sports and girls only care about their phones and how the government is always spying on you and stuff. I know exactly how he feels. So I’m gonna put that all in my song.”

While no one is willing to tell Jakob Custors that the song he is writing is terrible, friends and family have been trying to give him hints.

“I haven’t said it out-right but I’ve tried to say things like ‘you know, Kurt probably wouldn’t have used FaceTime to tell the jocks that he was going to give them ear cancer,’” said Jakob Custors father Matt Custors. “I tried to explain to (Jakob Custors) that I had actually met Kurt a couple times, I’m from Aberdeen too, but Jakob won’t listen to anything I say because… well, he’s a kid and I’m his father so of course he isnt’ going to listen to anything I have to say.”

Jakob Custors said when he is done with the song he will drive to Cobains grave and play it for him in the rain.

“I know Kurt would have wanted me to (play him the song),” said Jakob Custors. “He loved his fans and would never do anything to hurt them. And so I’m going to finish the song and go find his grave and play him the song. I even put piano wire on my guitar like I saw on the internet that he did once.”
Jakob Custors’ father supports him even though the song is terrible.

“He’s a good kid and he’s just caught up in this whole thing. He’ll get over it,” said Matt Custor. “I just hope it’s soon because we are going to see Bob Dylan next month and I don’t want him bumming me out.”

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