KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA – Having exhausted all other possible leads, Malaysian officials have brought in magician David Copperfield for questioning about the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.
“I remember seeing him one time make a plane disappear when I was a kid and he may have do it again,” said Malaysia Prime Minister, Najib Tun Razak. “Maybe (Copperfield) made plane disappear and now he ca not remember how to get it back since he is old now. But even if he did not make it disappear, maybe he know how to bring it back anyway. Maybe disappeared things go to another dimension that only (Copperfield) can go to. I do not know. I am not a magician. I do not know how these work. But right now, he is our only hope.”
Aviation experts are skeptical that Copperfield could be responsible for the disappearance of flight 370.
“I’m going to admit to you that this was the first idea I had,” said Luke Spielman, Director of the Federal Aviation Administration. “Well let me take that back. I didn’t necessarily think that it was Mr. Copperfield. Maybe another magician like that Chris Angle guy. But not (Copperfield). (Copperfield) couldn’t pull something like this off. He’s old. Hell, I didn’t even know he was still alive until he showed up in Malaysia.”
Copperfield himself says that he had nothing to do with the plane disappearing but that he could have made the plane disappear if he wanted to.
“I totally could have done it, it would have been easy, but I didn’t do it,” Copperfield said. “But why would I? I already made a plane dissapear once. It was in the 80s, look it up. I’ve got nothing to gain from this. I mean other than the attention of the entire world. I mean, really, if I had done it, I would use an opportunity like right now to bring the plane back, just so that the media would see everything. But no, I didn’t feel the need to it. Though it did give me an idea for my next big trick. I’ll give you a hint… it involves a plane and a bunch of Chinese people.”
In a joint effort to locate the plane, The United States government has committed to give the Malaysian authorities any and all help that they can, including the extradition of Copperfield
“Of course we’re going to do whatever we can… there were Americans on that flight,” Spielman said. “Any and all help that we can give to find those Americans, we’ll give. Of course if we had confirmation that those Americans were dead, well, then we’d have ourselves somewhat of a conundrum. But as of right now, we’re fully committed.”
The questioning of Copperfield has come as a shock to many as almost everyone in the world had forgotten about Copperfield.
“I guess the greatest trick (Copperfield) ever pulled was accidentally becoming irrelevant and letting the world forget that he was still alive,” said Felix Windsor. “Before this we were all saying ‘wait, didn’t he die a long time ago?’ I thought he was the one that got his face eaten of by the tiger. But I guess that was the gay one? I don’t know. I can’t tell any of them apart these days. Fucking magicians.”